Shifi Lieberman, LMFT, is super clear: ‘You can’t outsource your parenting.’
She’s here to give us the tools we need to confidently parent and raise our children with security. Sign up for her free, super- entertaining newsletter here, and read on to learn how to get those tools.
Let’s get one thing out of the way: we’ve all made parenting mistakes. And when you’re raising a child who struggles, whether with social skills or with anxiety or whatever it may be, you may benefit from learning how to be the best parent for your specific child.
Shifi Lieberman, LMFT, Passaic-based Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, has been in the field for decades (read our previous round-ups of Shifi’s amazing work here and here!). ‘The truth is,’ Shifi says, when you’re dealing with a child with anxiety, the child seeks confidence and security from their parent. Many children who have mild-moderate anxiety resist therapy and wish their parents could help them. They want to know that their parent hears them, believes in them, and has the tools to help them. And today, it’s easier than ever to learn how to best parent your child.”
So, how do we get started? Shifi created her Anxiety Made Simple course to help parents just like you learn how to help their anxious children. She breaks down what anxiety is, when it becomes a dysfunction, the most common mistakes parents make (especially while trying to help their children!), and practical solutions to help your child (and even yourself) manage the emotion of anxiety. In her virtual course, (which can be watched at your convenience, in the comfort of your own home- what could be better?), Anxiety Made Simple, Shifi explains clear therapeutic techniques that you can use to help your child manage his/her anxiety. And while there are times that therapy is necessary, there are even more times where your child needs help that YOU can provide. And the tools you need are right here, in Anxiety Made Simple.
Let’s take a sneak peek into the course and discuss three common mistakes parents make when parenting their child with anxiety. Will you see yourselves in any of these mistakes? Maybe. Don’t get discouraged though, Shifi’s here to help us move past our mistakes and into practical therapeutic techniques to help our children.
- ‘The absolute number one mistake parents make,’ explains Shifi, ‘is providing reassurance. When your child says, ‘Mommy, what if there’s a fire school today?’ and your response is ‘There’s not going to be a fire at school today.’ And they ask again three more times, ‘But how do you know, Mommy? Do you promise?’ and you keep giving them that reassurance, they begin to rely on your reassurance, further handicapping them. These children have what we call a ‘what if’ brain, and will continue to question you, and question you, and question you. Children need to learn how to live with uncertainty, without relying on reassurance.’ Sign up here to learn what to say instead!
- Another common mistake parents make is when their child reminds them of someone they know (often a family member), or even of themselves, who has anxiety. The parent is so triggered by seeing the familiar anxious behaviors that they either overreact, or shut down. This leads parents to react to anxious behaviors with either far too little or far too much empathy and compassion, which will ultimately make the anxiety worse.
- Parents often have anxiety of their own. Now’s the time to work on it! Trying to help your child without understanding your own anxiety is like pouring salt on an open wound. A child may learn some of the anxious behaviors and adapt them, while also learning that they can’t rely on their parent to help them, cycling into a big, enmeshed, anxious, mess.
Shifi’s course delves into more details of the right way to help your child and offers 18+ cutting edge treatment techniques to use with your child! ‘Parents!,’ Shifi says, ‘Don’t underestimate your role! Saying the right thing will provide much needed healing and relief.’
Are you worried you won’t know how to implement what you’ve learned? Shifi gives the information over in a clear, simple way that really empowers you to better understand and empathize with your child and teaches the practical tools you can use to help them. Plus, the course comes with a free, short consult with Shifi where you can discuss your child and get personalized tips.
With summer (and sleepaway camp!) on the horizon, now’s a great time to help your child learn how to manage their anxiety. Learn the tools you need to help your child: it’s never too early or too late to start. Sign up for Shifi’s Anxiety Made Simple course here, and don’t forget to sign up for her super-popular free newsletter, here!
Plus, BCP family, Shifi provided an exclusive code for 5% off Anxiety Made Simple course using coupon code BCPFAMILY5.
P.S. Is your child struggling with relationships? Check out SOCIAL SKILLS MADE SIMPLE.
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