You can make the most of your summer, no matter how you spend your day-to-day.
Are you sitting at a desk, thinking about how you should be enjoying this sunny day? Don’t.
How you view your summer is in your mind –
– and it’s entirely in your power to grab some beautiful moments and make the most of them. It may take a little planning, but the season is still yours.
Focusing on Mindset
Our mood and mental health begins and ends with our mindset. What we tell ourselves about our experience is often the most important. Maintaining the attitude that we can still enjoy ourself and make time for it, even though we’re working, often opens ourselves up for more possibilities.
Making Time for Social Opportunities
Getting time in for friends and family can help us feel like we’re in vacation mode.
Scheduling a walk with a friend after work, meeting up with someone for a quick lunch during your lunch break, or grabbing a co-worker for coffee can give us the summer experience.
Scheduling Fun Experiences During Time When We’re Not at Work
Planning for that Sunday night barbecue or that Shabbos away can help us enjoy the sunshine while we’re out, without feeling like we’re missing out when we’re stuck indoors. Going for that swim after work or dashing to the beach on the weekend can really let us feel like we’re on vacation.
Prioritizing Relaxation
This may not be the time to tackle ten extra projects or take on those work assignments. If you want to feel rejuvenated and feel the benefits from that summer experience, learn to let go and find moments to sit outside with a glass of lemonade or iced coffee, go for a leisurely walk after supper, and maybe take an easier approach to work and household responsibilities in general.
Focusing on Gratitude
Our ability to have a great summer depends on how we view it. Focusing on what we are able to take away instead of what we are not affects our feeling like we had a vacation, even though we are still at work. Telling ourselves “Wow that was a great day getaway,” or “I’m so glad I was able to sleep in this morning,” allows us to still get that vacation feel.
Wow! Exactly what I needed! Another great thing I do is that I write down all little things I did, for example I went out for Ice Cream, or I read a book on the couch, or went swimming once… My list is really growing, its really making me feel like I am enjoying my summer, even though I work full time! My friends who are off are telling me that I am summering more than them…
Love the idea of writing it down!
For me this is supremely unhelpful. All the time that I am not working is spent taking care of my family. Yes, I’m grateful. No, I am not able to relax or have a summer.
How about trying to incorporate summer into taking care of your family – BBQ for supper, watermelon for dessert, take the kids to the park (or swimming if that’s an option) and have a later bedtime…
I don’t work but I’m busy with my family 24/7 BH. I have zero time to relax, but I want to feel summer so I change things up to make it feel more summery. Summer is actually less relaxing than winter for me but I still enjoy it way more!
Hey, I feel you. Summer is by far my most challenging work season and between the kids being out reduced hours due to camp, the piles of swimming… it’s harder than ever to relax. Any spare minute is spent on getting in whatever work I missed, or just trying to get the laundry clean (forget about folded) and some food on the table. That being said I did find some points in the article helpful. No I’m not going to the beach or the mall or the country for Shabbos. But once I’m with the kids anyways, I do give myself to be spontaneous and fun. A local park. A sprinkler. Sometimes late at night I’ll just take a chair outside and sit for a few minutes and breathe. I also try to take a few minutes to make myself a yummy drink if I can. I bought a new novel and (lhavdil) a Sefer and read parts on Shabbos. Suppers I do really really scaled back. Macaroni, but I’ll blend a smoothie for the kids. Hotdogs and fries. Turkey sandwiches. Lowering my expectations help alot, and I know by allowing myself that I’ll be a happier more relaxed mom, which is a win win. beH!
You’re missing the point of the article – it’s all about mindset. If you tell yourself you have no time to relax, you won’t feel relaxed. I have 4 kids and work full time so I relate to feeling constantly busy. But I notice a tremendous difference in how I feel based on how I think and talk about my life. I can take 10 minutes to read my book instead of scrolling my phone, make an ice coffee as an afternoon treat, let my kids have pizza or frozen chicken nuggets for dinner – giving myself these breaks can still help me enjoy my summer (and my life!).
For Leah. Sounds really busy and not particularly easy. Different people (including the other mother above who has four kids and also works full time) have different lives and different challenges, even if on the surface all things seem equal. I think there is a balance between a positive mindset and validation of a difficult set of circumstances (even if what seems to be the same set of circumstances for someone else is not as hard). You’ve had unique experiences and a different life to bring you to where you are, where you’re finding this hard. Although to some extent “everything is in the mind”, some experiences are simply harder than others, and there’s nothing wrong with you if you don’t feel this article addressed your particular needs. You might not be able to run to the beach or similar. I don’t believe you’re “missing the point of the article”. I don’t believe that the other mother who wrote something above is doing a better job than you are. I believe you are doing the best you can given the situation that you are in, which sounds fairly challenging. Give yourself that validation that there’s nothing wrong with you if the advice in the article doesn’t hit home and, at the same time, see if you can do anything at all to make things 1% better for yourself. A gratitude journal for 1 minute a day might be useful. Perhaps mindfulness meditation (try it!) can be wonderful in teaching the brain a new pattern of relaxation. Maybe reframe things “I’m not coping with this” increases suffering, Vs “I can cope, this is very hard and I’m doing an excellent job given my situation” Maybe consider how you can engage your senses in something soothing for a few minutes a day, even in the middle of juggling everything – something that tastes, smells, feels, sounds or looks nice (like enjoying whatever nature is around you, for example, noticing the little flower that is growing from between a crack in the sidewalk). And maybe brainstorming solutions to make your life better, and trying one at a time, and not giving up, because things can and will get easier at some point beH. Picture what it will take to make a better life and think forward to a better future. Much hatzlacha and all the best, wishing you as much relaxation as you can achieve given your full plate and particular situation
For Ruchie. I’m so happy for you that things are going well for you, and that you enjoy thinking positively. At the same time, you wrote – “I notice a tremendous difference in how I feel based on how I think and talk about my life”. This comment assumes the reason you’re struggling less is solely due to your efforts. If we could look down from Shamayim to see things from an omniscient perspective, we might find that’s not the true reason for the difference in your experiences. Different situations are objectively harder or easier. It’s more helpful for us when we’re struggling to hear encouragement coupled with validation of one’s given situation. Assuming that you have exactly the same experience is unhelpful although it comes from a desire to help. Knowledge is power, and I hope this empowers you to help others more effectively. Wishing you all the very best and a continued enjoyable summer working and looking after your four children.
I would also like to respond to Leah that though it doesn’t feel like it at the moment, seasons change and certain things become harder or easier. I’ve been working full time for the last 20 years with knh a large family. There are summers where I can take spontaneous trips with my kids depending on their ages, and there are summers it’s too much. There are summers I can take off a day of work here and there when my kids are in camp and there are summers when just too much is on my plate and I can’t. Whichever way you slice it, summer is definitely a hr tov overwhelming season. Hatzlacha!
Wow, finally an article that validates working moms! I so needed to read this (including the comments) that there are other super busy mothers working during the summer when all I want is to feel the sun on my face and feel like the only one out there who isn’t. I’d love more content that caters to working moms and how to make it easier.
Regarding my summer bucket list, I found that “Expectation is the mother of disappointment,” and if I adjust my expectations, those little things fill me with joy. Mindset and perspective is indeed everything.