Ten Tips for a Successful Mommy Camp

It’s always been a dream of mine to keep my kids home from day camp one half and run our own brand of Mommy camp.

Last summer, b’chasdei Hashem, that dream came true. Camp Adams was a rousing success, one that we still talk about fondly a year later. (Perhaps not fondly enough, as most of the campers opted not to return this summer, but they are still memories we will forever treasure.)

Here are some tips I wrote while in the thick of things during the first half last year. I hope they help those of you who are planning mommy camp for this year! 

• First, make sure it’s the right thing for your family. Mommy camp is a special way to create everlasting memories, and if your schedule allows for it, you can be giving your children a precious gift. However, if spending all day with them, catering to them and bending over backward to give them a good time will make you resentful, it might cause more harm than good. If you need to have them out of the house while you recharge and prepare to be the best Mommy possible during the time that they are home, allow yourself that. However, if you feel you can hack it with only minimal irritability and just a few rough moments, go for it. The tense moments tend to get lost in the overarching positive experience, and that’s what they will remember for a long time to come. Think about your own memories of quality time with family. Chances are, assuming healthy circumstances, the small irritations have faded over time, and the memories are largely positive.

• Start with a theme. You don’t have to, but having a theme gives your mommy camp the semblance of a real camp and it  also helps organize your mind and zoom in on activities that relate to that theme. The best part of having a theme is that anything seemingly mundane suddenly becomes more exciting when it connects to the theme.

• Plan well in advance. Once you have a theme, plan what each day will be. Even if you don’t plan the nitty gritties until closer, having an outline helps you keep an eye out for good ideas as you run your errands or browse Between Carpools.  It’s overwhelming to operate without a framework, where anything goes and everything is an option. With a clear focus in your mind, you can zero in on good options much more effectively. “These adorable suncatcher crafts would be perfect for light up day!” etc. Before you start, you also want to take a good look around your house at all of the paraphernalia you already have that could be put to good use. You might even want to plan your themes and activities around what has been sitting there for years, untouched, waiting for a perfect opportunity such as this one.

• Have a schedule to guide you, but stay flexible. You want to wake up every morning knowing what you are doing, but also leaving room for spontaneity. You can balance those two based on your preferences and the personality of both you and your campers. We started each day with the daily schedule posed on our white board, but without times. We would let everyone slowly meander out of bed, start whenever everyone was ready and then finish whenever we were done.

• Get the campers involved. Our camper involvement often started as a copout or simply to make up for what I didn’t have time to do myself, but each time, ended up being an empowering and exciting experience. For example, when I didn’t have time to prepare a newsletter for the first Friday, I sat with them and had them remind me of all of the things we did that week, and I typed up the newsletter on the spot. It was so much fun traveling down memory lane together that this became our regular Friday activity. We had a whole shiur program, with a focus on a different midah or mitzvah for each week. And every week, each camper had to prepare a “speech” to present to the camp on that topic. From the youngest to the oldest, they came through adorably, and even inspiringly. Any time I handed the reins over to them, they rose to the occasion. Depending on the age and skills of your children, you can even give them specific roles within the camp: singing head, crafts director, cleanup supervisor, etc. And then you can switch off roles each week, so that everyone has a chance to head everything.

• Make regular errands exciting. Mommy camp notwithstanding, you still have to run a home. It’s hard to do that when the kids are clamoring for the next grand activity. You can try to do both by incorporating fun activities into your chores and errands. Have them join the supper preparation action by turning it into a cooking show. Get slurpies when you take them with you on a grocery run. Try to incorporate the back-to-school errands into your theme so that you can take advantage of empty stores while still staying immersed in the camp mommy experience.

• Take the time, as you map out your summer, to put thought into the goals you might set out to achieve. Once you are spending all of this precious time with your children, incorporate skills you want them to master, values you want them to imbibe. Whether it’s something as complex as learning to get along better with each other, or as definable as learning to differentiate between right and left, think about what it is that they can accomplish over the summer, and incorporate that into your plans. Plan activities, trips, crafts, contests etc. that will help advance those goals. School may be out, but no one said we can’t keep learning over the summer! The joys of mommy camp are that you get to decide what exactly that learning and growing should look like.

• Stay true to your strengths. What is it that you are good at? Trying to turn yourself into a pretzel to accommodate your children will wear you out unnecessarily. If you like to get out and about, focus your activities on trips and outings. If you are a homebody like me, you can concentrate more on crafts and baking. It will also be conducive to take your campers’ skills and personalities into account, incorporating into your schedule all of the activities that will help them shine and bring out their best selves.

• Make time for yourself. I think the single biggest challenge of mommy camp is the fact that you are constantly on. When the children are in school or daycamp, you have all day to miss them. Whether you are home or at work, or some hybrid of the two, you have your day to replenish  all of your motherly fuzziness, which you then use up in the evening and morning hours. Camp Mommy means you are in mommy mode all day, every day. Make sure to find some time for yourself throughout the day so that you can indeed replenish those fuzzies. In Camp Adams, late wakeup allowed me to sit with my coffee in the morning, and then even get a couple of hours of work in. You might be able to join an evening swim or gym class, or even leave your campers to their own devices for an hour or two during the day, if they are old enough. As much as you give, you need to give to yourself as well, so that you don’t burn out.

• Enjoy and let go! If you are doing this, it is because you cherish the time you spend with your children and value the memories you create together. Let go of your expectations for perfection. Embrace the mess ups and the hiccups and don’t let them mar the experience. Even if it is your children who are getting hung up on what could be or should be and not what you’ve done for them, remember that the memories they have of their time with you will endure, and the blessing of time often smoothes over the rough edges, leaving an overall positive memory in their minds.  And if camp mommy isn’t for you, thank you for reading anyway! Don’t feel guilty that you prefer to entertain your children in small doses, or that your work schedule is such that falling into full-time head counselor mode is impossible. The main thing is that whatever time you do get to spend with them is special, and that they know that they are the most important use of your time. The adage has become somewhat of a cliche but it’s true: They are only young once, so cherish the moments you share. 

Wishing you a happy, safe and successful summer, mommy camp or not.