Yes! You can have a happy newborn that’s also a great sleeper. It’s not too early for both mom and baby to be calm and well-rested.
Are you one of the pro sleep training people out there, or is it something you are passionately against? Whichever side you are on, this article is for you, because having a happy, calm baby is something we can all agree on.
There is a big misconception about newborn sleep that should be cleared up, and it’s something I want to shout from the rooftops! Many moms think their newborn will just fall asleep anywhere and everywhere, whenever he needs to sleep. This couldn’t be further from the truth! Newborns need us to give them consistent naps, and they need us to help them fall asleep, at the right times.
Babies are only born with 25% of their brain developed, and they lack the capacity to self-regulate. Sometimes, when you put your newborn to sleep and he is very calm and sleepy, he might drift off by himself. However, you will often have to soothe your newborn to sleep. Now is not the time to be concerned about creating bad habits in your newborn. All you want to focus on now is responding appropriately to his needs and creating a safe and secure attachment.
That being said, you obviously want your baby to sleep, and here is the best way you can PREP your baby for that. This way, even though you will be using a “sleep crutch”—because again, your baby is often NOT going to fall asleep independently—you are still optimizing sleep for your newborn and, by extension, for the entire family:
P-Prevention- Newborns can become deregulated and over-stimulated very easily. Preventing that is a lot easier than dealing with it afterwards. This is the most important part of PREP.
Most of you already know the classic signs of over-stimulation: fussy, crying, and hard to calm. But here is something you might not know. Ever noticed a newborn sleeping through chaos? Picture a newborn at a wedding or even a baby boy at the seuda after the bris. He is just sleeping straight through it all. Is that because noise doesn’t affect newborns? Well, actually it does, but the environment is so over-stimulating to them that they start habituation—shutting down. They appear to be sleeping deeply, but it’s not a refreshing, restorative sleep. In actuality, they are working very hard to shut out their environment. You will know if your baby was habituating if they wake up from this sleep fussy, inconsolable, and exhausted. It can be hard to calm him down; you may need to focus on soothing his nervous system for the next day or two (and sometimes even three).
- It’s important to know and recognize habituation and the signs of over-stimulation, but it’s even better if you can prevent both habituation and over-stimulation to begin with.
Remember that the world is a brand new place for these little ones. Even the regular hustle and bustle of your house can be too much for them. Towards the mid afternoon, babies will be even more sensitive to stimulation, so it’s helpful to keep them away from the afternoon chaos as much as possible. Keep them in a calmer, dimmer environment so you can get them to bedtime without them being too over-stimulated.
- The second part of prevention is preventing your baby from becoming overtired.
Initially, in the first two or three weeks after birth, babies will sleep around the clock more or less and wake just to have their physical needs met. After this initial period, their wake time average increases to an hour. The first wake window of the day will be shorter- 30 to 45 minutes– and the last one will be longer- up to 90 minutes. Wake windows also go according to nap length. If your baby is only taking 30-minute naps (yes, that’s considered normal at this age), then their wake window will be shorter. If your baby’s naps are on the longer side, then their wake windows can be longer too. So keep your eye on the clock, but also watch your baby for sleepy cues, and try to get your baby down for a nap before he becomes overtired. He will have an easier time falling asleep, he’ll sleep better, and of course he’ll be happier too.
R-Routines– Start a routine with your newborn, and he will eventually come to learn what it means. When babies know what to expect, they will feel safe and secure, which will help them fall asleep calmly. In addition, their brain will start the process of preparing the body for sleep. Routines are great for naps as well.
An example of a routine would be going into the baby’s room, dimming the lights, diaper changing, swaddling, singing, and holding the baby for a few minutes. When your baby is very calm, put him down. He will still most likely need help falling asleep, but the benefits of the routine mentioned above are still the same.
E-Environment– Set up an ideal sleeping environment to bring on optimal, quality sleep. Think of how you feel when you walk into your bedroom and it’s neat and clean, versus when you didn’t have a chance to make your beds that morning, plus there’s laundry all over the place. It’s a peaceful feeling versus chaos. We want to recreate the peaceful feeling for our newborns too.
- The ideal sleep environment is dark (yes, for naps too), quiet, the right temperature- not too hot and not too cold- calm and clean.
- The emotional environment is just as important. Use bedtime as a quality bonding time without distractions. Studies show that children who have an emotional connection at bedtime fall asleep faster and stay asleep longer. You can’t get better benefits than that!
P-Proper Feeding– In order to help establish your newborn’s circadian rhythm- their sense of day and night- make sure not to miss a daytime feeding.
- Feed at least every three hours. If you let them take a longer stretch by day, they will not take a longer stretch at night.
- In addition to this, expose your newborn to sunlight in the morning and keep the afternoons (3pm and on) dimmer and quieter.
Using PREP to help your baby sleep will set your baby on the right track to being a calm, happy baby and a great sleeper. We all know how challenging the postpartum weeks can be and how much there is to deal with during this time period.
A well-rested baby means more time for you to breathe, reset, and keep up with the demands of life.
Leave a Reply