Take a deep breath. Will you choose to live these moments to their fullest? Experts and BCP readers share how they keep calm when things are a little crazy.
“When you speak slowly and quietly, you calm yourself down. You can practice this all day for optimum results, and especially when a loved one is provoking you. It’s a powerful tool to protect your health, your serenity and your overall well-being.” – Sarah Chana Radcliffe
“Lean-in to let go. Instead of resisting what is, lean into the messiness and chaos of childhood and you’ll be surprised by how much you can actually enjoy your kids presence when you aren’t on behavior patrol. And let go of expectations, agendas, and perfection as much as possible. Meet your children where they are and let things go, unless you absolutely can’t. If you open your mind and heart, you might be pleasantly surprised by how connecting and enjoyable you find this time. Kids are truly a joy to be around but we sometimes have to change our outlook to experience that.” –Blimie Heller
“Screaming. Yelling. Fighting. Crying. Tantruming. How can a Mommy stay calm and pleasant when all of this is happening simultaneously, inches from her head, courtesy of her offspring? I once asked Rebbitzen Spetner this question and her advice is amazingly effective: Walk to the fridge. Pour yourself a cold cup of water. Make a brocha slowly, out loud. Drink the water and say borie nefoshos. By then Mommy calms down and often the situation miraculously diffuses itself!” – Sarah Massry
“I make sure we all get a bit of alone time. Go into my/their room, close the door and read a book or something. Sometimes 15 minutes by yourself is all you need.”– Mom of 4
It’s normal to be nervous at times; don’t try to talk your child out of nervous feelings. Instead, validate them: “Yes, being nervous when [insert situation].” When a parent calmly ACCEPTS a child’s anxious feelings, the child often calms down. However, when a parent anxiously tries to make the anxious feeling go away (“Oh, there’s nothing to be nervous about – everything will be fine!”) the child tends to remain as nervous as before. – Sarah Chana Radcliffe
“Take that time for yourself. If it means hiding out in a walk-in closet while you slowly drink a coffee, do it! Tell your children, Mommy needs rest time for 10 minutes, and take that rest, daily! If you need exercise, a walk around the block, quiet reading time (so you can read a book), make sure you incorporate it in your day.” -Mom of Girls
“Uncertainty can affect them. Being nervous will only make matters worse. I am grateful I have a family to care for and I remember that the mess will get cleaned up but the memories will remain forever. I focus on making positive memories.” -Mom of 6