Did you find it stressful to get your kids to stick to a schedule?
When we first heard our kids were going to be home for a couple of weeks before Pesach a month ago, we all started preparing schedules for our families to keep some kind of structure. We even posted sample schedules and templates for you to download and fill in here on Between Carpools.
We quickly realized in our own homes that schedules don’t work. They might work for a day or two and then we feel all proud of ourselves. But that doesn’t last long. If it has worked for you long term, great.
Rather than keeping things running orderly, most often schedules turn us into policemen. Kids need to do this or that at this or that time and it takes all our energy to get them to stay in line.
This “box system,” described below, is a decent alternative. It might save you from a couple “What do I do now?!?” questions.
I suppose we’ll all learn and adapt as we go.
There is no end-all be-all solution. I don’t know if this system is going to be “the one” that works for us long term, and it might not be the right fix for all. But it’s been good so far for me, so I’m sharing it here.
What is the “Box System” (or we can call it the “First, Next, Then” System!)?
Basically, the box system gives kids some guide as to “what they should do now.” No matter what time they get up, they do box one before moving onto box two. Box one in most homes will alway include getting up, brushing teeth, getting dressed, davening, and breakfast. The rest of the boxes can vary according to your family’s preferences. The boxes don’t have set times, just a set order.
Why Mom Doesn’t Need to Nudge
It doesn’t matter if they want to sit in bed and read a book for an hour before starting their day. You don’t need to nudge. They’re going to have to do box one no matter what time it gets done (anytime before their first live class). They’re going to have to do box two before they get to do box three.
Watch the Clock
Some parts of the day will definitely be taking place at specific times, such as the boys shiurim or other phone or Zoom classes. There are “watch the clock” items throughout the day. Those are the items that are bound by time.
Box Order
It helps to have the learning box earlier in the day with something the kids look forward to taking place later in the afternoon, so there’s incentive to keep moving forward.
And If the Boxes Don’t All Get Done?
It doesn’t matter! As long as the kids tune in and pay attention to their classes, whether they choose to engage in the other activities in each time slot doesn’t matter so much. You can decide which boxes you are set in stone and which not.
Download a blank schedule here.
What solutions have worked for you in managing your family’s schedule? I’d love to hear your tips!
looks great! thx for sharing!
Try a schedule without fixed times.
Divide it by AM (or: 9-1) then Lunch then PM (1-5);
Divide each time slot into two categories:
must do (written as checklist- ie: wash up, brush teeth, dress, breakfast. Rebbe call in, clean up room, organize papers for next class etc) and optional (ie: 15 mins computer game time, ride bike, call Savta etc)
This works well for us, especially if the more “incentives” (aka screen time!) I put in optional, the faster the “musts” get done. It also helps me manage screen time/extras by starting the day with allowing a certain amount for AM and then for PM without “negotiations”…
Genius!
I made a schedule for each kid by the half hour with fun times scheduled in through the day. It doesnt matter if they skip something as long as they don’t miss the important things. at night I spend about 10 minutes making the schedule and they each have input to their own day before i print. together with the schedule I made them each a weekly chart where they check off as they accomplish their tasks. tasks include brushing teeth, davening, school work, caliing Bubby or Zaidy, exercise, play outside etc. When they’ve completed their chart for the day they take a treat or prize. Its actually working for every age child in my house…
Hey Leah,
Any chance you have a 4 year old? What does the schedule look like? I’m having a hard time keeping him occupied…
A lot of people,myself included, have been saying that their 4 year olds are having the hardest time adjusting. They’re too young to fully understand what’s going on and they’re not great at keeping themselves occupied. My four year old misses her school and friends like crazy. She is having a lot of tantrums. I find that I need to sit and color with her, sit and play house with her, read books to her, have her help me bake, make a salad, play a game, etc. As much as I would love to have her occupy herself for longer it’s not so realistic. She’s the one kid that I need to be most actively involved with every day. Good luck. I’d love some ideas too. Bh my other kids have adapted well but this age isn’t easy.
With a house of young children BH (think: six and down), we’ve been experimenting ways to “schedule” a non-schedule.
Lately, we have a board that gets updated. There is a base day outline of the Must-do in colorful squares: Daven, Call hotline, Lunch, Homework, Snack, Main Activity (this one changes: bake! Paint! Drive…) All around are free circles of ideas to do in between. We change the circles to give some fresh ideas (puzzles, play dough, perler beads, call a friend, coloring books, etc. even take a bubble bath!). The kids know the flow of the day and have ideas to keep busy until we’re all ready to move on. Hatzlacha!
PS. If you can update the schedule daily (think: Monday! Chef Day!) it may keep it from feeling repetitive even if all that changes is the header and the special activity. It gives the kids something to come and check in and feels like a ‘fresh’ day!
This is so helpful, thanks! I noticed you dont offer screen time, which I love…how do you get your kids off that? I am also working from home and more often than not, find that that is the only way to keep them quiet so I can make calls to clients. My children are aged 6, 3 and 15 months. Would love some more tips!
Please share more about the investing lesson for boys!