Four notes to make that family trip all the more meaningful.
It’s that time of year again. School is wrapping up and we’re preparing for summer vacation. In addition to sending kids to camp, many of us are also planning family vacations. Whether you’ll be traveling to Israel, somewhere else in the world, or more local, a family trip is a tremendous opportunity for family bonding and teaching our children important life skills and ideals that can help to carry them through life.
Let’s start with the beginning.
Why are We Taking a Family Trip?
We want to build our family as a group, as a team! During the year, everyone does his/her own thing. Each child is in a different grade, a different class and parents are at work. Now we’re taking time off to spend time together, to get to know each other better in a relaxed and unpressured environment. The more we feel good as a family, the more pride we will have to be part of Family Ploni. And the more pride a child has in his/her family, the more self-confidence he/she will have in other social contexts as well. This can help him/her to make good decisions and reduce social pressure, preventing bad decisions, i.e. “ I’m a proud member of family Ploni. We don’t do such things.”
So can I make a small suggestion? Take the extra step. Print personalized water bottles or some other sort of useful swag for your trip. Sometimes it’s the small things that can really add to the family camaraderie!
Count Down
As a tour guide, I know that the anticipation and excitement for the trip is an essential prerequisite for a great time! The more we look forward to it, the more special it will be for us! (We have that in halachah as well. We count the days to Matan Torah, we start learning about Pesach 30 days before, as women, we count as well….) So my recommendation is: share the planning with your kids! Talk about where you’ll be going. Build excitement! You can even ask older kids what type of activities they’d prefer so they feel like active participants. The more your family looks forward to this trip together, the more incredible it will be!
Are We Consistent?
The trip itself is an incredible opportunity to teach kids so many practical life lessons. It is here that our children will be watching us and seeing how we act when we’re not on our regular routine. Are we consistent with our values even without the usual social pressure? (Whether it’s davening , how we dress, kashrus etc here’s where we tell our kids what is truly important to us all of the time, anywhere in the world. Does G-d come with us on our vacations?)
True Values Shine
And then there’s our social interactions. How do we handle when things don’t go as anticipated? Even a perfectly planned trip is going to have its glitches. This is how we teach our kids how to handle disappointment, how to react when things don’t go our way. Will we lose it and blame everyone else or will we tell our kids “This is what Hashem wanted. Let’s make the best of it!”? Trips are an incredible opportunity to teach our kids how to make lemonade out of lemons and see the siyatta dishmaya (Divine Intervention) in every situation. This skill will help our children go far in life instead of being discouraged by life’s inevitable setbacks.
May we be zocheh (merit) to have awesome and empowering family summer vacations with memories that will carry our children throughout life!
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