But you can resolve to give genuine compliments at any age.
I made an honest mistake. I told some friends that I took upon myself to compliment people. And they have been teasing me relentlessly.
Every time I say something that slightly resembles a compliment, they say:
Nice compliment. I like how 40 falls on you.
I love you at @ 40
Nice job since you’re 40!
And so I realized I was not going to live this down! And that the next time I plan on being vulnerable I better think twice!
I decided I may as well share it with the rest of the world (under a pen name! I do have my limits!)
What does 40 have to do with compliments? When I turned 40 I decided I wanted to take upon myself something that I can pinpoint and say – “I started x when I turned 40.” I thought about it for a long time and realized I didn’t want to take upon myself something I would regret, or something that could change with time.
And so I decided I would take upon myself to give compliments more often. Not fluffy, general compliments. Honest specific compliments that I mean.
So many times I think, “That’s a pretty dress and I just think it. It stays in my head. It was time to verbalize it.”
I remember being young and my husband asking me if anyone complimented the necklace he got me. And I said no one did. At 40, I could comfortably say to a younger person, or even a stranger, “I love your necklace.”
And so, combined with my thoughts and age, I went on a compliment spree.
I like the print of your dress.
You have really pretty eyes.
So considerate of you to take care of that project.
The color of the jacket compliments you so well.
Your baby is so well taken care of.
You have a really clear way of explaining things.
Your daughter has such charm every time I meet her.
1. It makes me into a more positive person. I look out for the good things and focus less on the things I don’t like.
2. Compliments don’t have to always be about physical things. It may be the easiest thing to notice but there are lots of other things you can compliment about.
3. People really enjoy compliments if they are real.
4. Everyone, but especially younger ones, should come home from an event or simcha with the feeling of someone complimenting them.
Giving empty compliments doesn’t work. It’s the real and specific compliments that are meaningful. If you’re thinking something nice don’t be scared to say it. I go to a wedding and don’t spend all night complimenting. But I do consciously compliment 2-3 times.
What about those friends that tease me? They are getting more complimentary by the day and the world is a better place!
Share in the comments how a kind word or compliment made a difference in your life.
|