October 22, 2019

4 Ways a Working Mom Can Create Work-Life Balance

There are so many people who want us at once. Things seem crazy and hectic. So how does a working mom find balance?

A working mom can be pulled in so many directions, and it’s not really possible to be everywhere at once and to be everything to everyone at once. So how to we make it work?

1. Have a Routine and Schedule

You have many priorities and you can’t just wing it on a regular basis. Having a schedule also helps you know when to say “yes” or “no” because you’ll be able to better judge, “No, this doesn’t fit into my schedule right now,” or “Yes, I do have space for this project.” What your routine looks like will be different for everyone. No, I won’t say that it makes sense for every working mom to do meal prep on Sundays. Find what works for you and stick to it. If things are flying, it’s very hard to prioritize.

2. It’s OK to ask for help.

You should. Whether it’s a friend, family member, neighbor, or someone in your work life. I also have a hard time asking for help and favors. But I’ve learned that people really do want to help, so take them up on it.

3. Learn to let go.

It’s OK to not be superwoman. It’s OK to check out when you need to. You cannot have it all. If someone looks like they have it all, there’s something behind the scenes that you don’t know about. We all want to have the perfect house, the perfectly dressed children, that amazing job or business…but not everything is perfect and it’s OK to let go of things. It’s very important for that to be a big part of your mantra.

4. Be happy.

Our children and loved ones, our employees and co-workers will feed off of our self-fulfillment. If you’re doing what you love and you’re happy and fulfilled in your day to day life, it’s ok if some things fall to the wayside. My children don’t get home-baked cookies and we don’t do big fancy projects. But at the end of the day, when I come home, they see I’m happy and pumped. Overall, it’s important to know that it’s ok for you to do what you love. Don’t let mom guilt take over.

Do you have any tips for balancing work and home? Share them below!

The content above originally appeared on our Instagram series, Between Minds, where different popular Instagrammers shared tips in their areas of expertise.

Tzivia Cohen

About Tzivia:Tzivia Cohen is the CEO of 14 Minds, a marketing agency based in Cedarhurst, NY. She’s also the mom of 3 adorable children. Learn more at https://14minds.com/ or on Instagram @14minds.

Filed under: Work

Tagged with: work life

13 responses to “4 Ways a Working Mom Can Create Work-Life Balance”

Tania

October 22, 2019

I appreciate your article but I don’t believe the statement is true. I’m not talking about mothers who work part time. But mothers who work full time- it’s impossible to have a good balance between home and work. Something is always going to be sacrificed- it’s not as trivial as baking cookies- it is more serious like missing children school performances, or missing a work deadline, not being home on chol hamoed with the kids, sending a sick child to school because there’s no other choice… I think we need to be realistic when writing these articles so women can feel validated about being pulled in both directions. But I do agree that women have to ask for help and also other women need to offer help. If you know your friend is missing a school performance- offer to be the ‘stand in mom’ and bring her kid a treat from her, if you know the mom has to work during chol hamoed- offer to take her children for the day…. let’s start helping each other out more so that those mothers who are working full time will know they have support

Reply
1. Tzivia Cohen
  
  October 28, 2019
  
  Hi! Which statement do you not agree with? I think the important takeaway is that ‘good’ balance is relative to your personal situation and preferences, so you have to find what works best for YOU.
  
  Reply
PH

October 22, 2019

☝???? Totally agree with previous comment. Work-life balance is a farce we’ve been fed for too long. There is no such thing and at the end of the day it’s a matter of priority. There are times work will be the priority and times “life” aka home and family will be. It’s a determination that is very individual to each person/situation/family. At the end of the day these can help somewhat but the main thing to remember is that really truly no one can do it all, despite what we see… or think we see.

Reply
1. Tzivia Cohen
  
  October 28, 2019
  
  Work life-balance is not a farce, the idea of an ideal work-life balance is. At least in my opinion- the phrase ‘work-life balance’ is not an adjective describing a perfect (or imperfect) scenario- it’s the actual act of continuously balancing all of our responsibilities on a day-to-day basis.
  
  Reply
Di

October 22, 2019

There is no reason a working mom can’t take off work hours to go to her child’s performance or take a day off if need be. If your working and a mom you need that to be part of your flexibility at work!

Reply
1. B
  
  October 23, 2019
  
  Maybe you can clarify your comment? I’m not a working mom, but when you say “there’s no reason” a working mom can’t take off hours, I can think of many- maybe she needs to save her hours so she doesn’t need to work on yuntif? What about a mom who works in the city and can’t make it to an 11 AM performance? What about a mom whose child had surgery and needed to use her off days to stay home? Etc etc etc….. “Need that to be a part of your flexibility”… Most people are not fortunate enough to have job schedules that revolve around them, but the opposite. The mom who is working is working because she needs to bring in a second income or is the sole breadwinner, and unless she is self-employed, she is reporting to a boss and hierarchy that is not running to give her off for every Siddur play! Even for self-employed moms, there are often places or meetings they need to attend that don’t allow them to go to every performance! When are we going to stop judging working moms? When are we going to stop judging them for a missed play, for the birthday cake from the store, for the cereal for dinner? When are we going to instead be there, actually BE there, to support these champions who are the backbone of their family??
  
  Reply
LC

October 23, 2019

I think you gotta do what you gotta do, but if you make your family your #1 priority, they feel it, even if you can’t make it to every school function.

Reply
t

October 23, 2019

I’m a working mom for quite a long time and I’d like to add one more tip – stay off social media. it’ll give you more time in your day and more serenity in your life.
I’ll also add, that in regards to flexibility, there are sacrifices that can be made in regards to where or which company you work for and the career you choose, to try to achieve the flexibility you need. However, it’s always a tight balance and no one can be two places at once. For those of us working outside our homes, this month was a quite a ride.

Reply
E

October 23, 2019

I don’t understand some of these comments. Why are people so judgmental? Work is exactly that-hard work! No mom (that I know about) is working for her own pleasure! Why do people not understand that most working moms are doing so because there is no other choice and she NEEDS THE MONEY! I think her children would rather her miss a siddur play than not have food, clothing and toys.
Obviously we need to use our common sense and do our best to be available for our children as much as possible, but I think every working mom should remember this:
You are making your family a priority by working!

Reply
1. Gitti
  
  October 24, 2019
  
  Thanks for this! I work in a community where most mothers don’t. I wish I could spend more time with our kids. BH we get by, but when people say things like “so just cut back hours!” or “really? why do you still work?” I’m like lol… I’m not working for fun, y’know? BH I get sipuk from my job too, no doubt but I wish people would realize that some of us actually work for pay.
  
  Reply
Toby

October 24, 2019

If only we would all be truthful about this facade about being able to do it all. Thank you to all the posters for bringing up the reality. The crazy high expectations aren’t normal.

Reply
Batya

October 24, 2019

I am blessed to have full time, full pressure, yet completely remote (ie, work from home) job in a community where most women don’t work. I just have to laugh when friends ask me to come to morning shiurim and lunch gatherings. And as far as siddur plays go, I’ve had to miss my share. Maybe it’s because I work from home but I still think you can gat a semblance of balance by cutting back on what some people call priorities. I hardly cook during the week (shabbos left overs go a loooong way here because I cook a ton on Thursday nights) and though I’d love to be involved in chessed projects, uh-uh, that’s not happening here. At least not now. I’m not the mommy who bakes for school parties and I haven’t folded clothes since… well, I have no recollection of the last time I actually organized kids clothes. But my family knows that they are why I work and they don’t feel they are lacking me. When I’m around, I do my best to be around and engaged. Does it work all the time? hah. Do I have to have zoom meetings with kids banging on my locked bedroom door? sure, lotsa times. Do I spend vacation days shooing then away so I can meet deadlines? Yup, you bet. But I wouldn’t say that that’s “not balancing”. It’s just not some other mommy’s balancing.

Reply
Nechama

October 24, 2019

I’m gonna be honest. Taking this topic here an adding a twist.
Should I tell you why I work?
I work because I need the outlet. I need to have something else to focus on besides all of the millions of errands and appointments that life requires.
I work because I like to have my little pocket money to buy myself my own “treats” and no, it’s not to pay the bills.
I am my own boss, so I get to control my schedule. Yet still, there are times that my work gets in the way of my children’s schedule.
And then, I have to make a choice.
Children or work. Each situation is different.
If it’s a time that I choose work, I cannot assuage my guilt by saying “it’s so they should have food on the table” cuz that’s not true.
But, I need to work. Its great for me. And when Mamma is happy, everybody is happy!
Should I OFTEN abandon my families needs so that my own need of having an outlet be fulfilled? Absolutely NOT!
But everyone’s level of a Normal outlet is different.
Bottom line- lets all support each other. No one is obligated to help working moms- wether it’s for financial reasons or not.
BUT- no one is allowed to judge. Be there for them emotionally. Support them. One never knows the others situation.

Reply