Dress your girls with style – and confidence!
Disclaimer: We know that body image is a sensitive topic and can be triggering for some. We’ve turned this topic over and over while deciding if we should discuss it here. And we realized that until the world is as size inclusive as we’d like, and until body shaming – particularly among children – is a thing of the past, we want to do our best to help the girls who are suffering from bullying and shaming. This post is intended to be read by the mothers, not the children. We want to build up our girls to be confident and comfortable in their bodies – and in their minds.
When we wrote a post about shopping for husky boys a few years ago, it was pretty simple. We shared the brands that work best. There was no discussion on what styles look better. With girls, the discussion comes with more emotion.
After countless requests, we started this discussion on Instagram and asked our readers to share their tips. We got some good tips, but much more than that, we got lots of painful replies. They were either from mothers still thinking about their childhood or in pain for their daughters.
The issue? On one hand, you don’t want to create an issue. Why even discuss this? Let the girls choose clothing they feel good in, and why are we even discussing children’s bodies (notice, no one complained about this for boys). On the other hand, if you can discreetly choose flattering clothing, why not shop with knowledge? (News flash: moms of ultra skinny kids need tips too! And moms of girls who are very short for their age… along with very tall girls who have a hard time finding things that cover the knee.)
As mothers, we want our children to have a positive association with their bodies. For us, it’s always been empowering to have tips that make it easier to shop quickly, efficiently and with less drama – regardless of the child’s size.
With all girls, keep things positive and tell them they are beautiful just the way they are.
- One of our favorite tips is to scout ahead. Go to 2-3 stores without your child and choose the items you think will look best. Once you’ve narrowed it down, bring your daughter along. This will start the tone of the shopping trip as a more positive one with great options to try on, rather than fishing endlessly through styles you both know won’t work.
- Know your stores and who has the good sales staff. A positive and encouraging saleswoman can make all the difference.
- When shopping for a girl with a wider figure, keep in mind that dresses and jumpers are more flattering – and more comfortable. Separates tend to look messier until the girl learns to keep the waistband at the waist and not under the belly. Because that’s a more comfortable way to wear a skirt, it’s a learned behavior as they get older. If you do choose skirts, a-line or straighter cut skirts and boxy tops (but not cropped) work best. When choosing dresses, lean towards a-line, shift or tiered dresses. Empire waist dresses look adorable on younger girls, but not as well as they grow taller. If you choose a waisted dress, look for one with a drop waist.
- Stay away from pleats which might not lay evenly.
- Dresses with a focal point on top – an interesting shoulder or sleeve – will draw the eye up to the face..
- Alterations make all the difference: You can buy two skirts on sale and add a panel of fabric from one to the other. This works for extending length, too. With a-line or shift dresses, you can simply add fabric down each side seam and it would barely be noticeable. Or choose a contrasting (darker works better here) fabric and it’ll look like an intentional design feature.
- Depending on age, Target, H&M, or Zara size small or medium ladies’ dresses work better for length better than girls’ sizes. Many times ladies’ dresses from the petite section work better. H&M and Zara mini dresses can fit, too. Look for mini dresses that have a square cut. Size up, and shorten if necessary. Old Navy, Walmart, JC Penney have a kids’ plus size line.
- When shopping for swimwear, check Justice for very flattering tankinis.
And let’s talk about the girls who are narrower than standard clothing sizes. These are the girls that are wearing size 18 months when they’re three years old, but when they are five years old, they can’t quite get away with that barely-covering-the-underwear length anymore.
- What we said above about separates holds true here, too. It can be hard for a narrow waist to hold up a skirt. If you do choose a skirt, make sure it has a fixed waistband and not a stretchy one because that will eventually sag and fall down. (If the top won’t be tucked in, good old-fashioned suspenders under the top can keep the skirt from falling down.)
- When choosing dresses, a shift dress can easily be taken in when necessary, but a wider a-line cut can just look overwhelming. Jumpers are generally easier to take in than dresses. High or low waisted dresses work well.
- Dresses with “puffier” details on top- ruffles, puff sleeves, smocking – work very well for girls with narrow shoulders. It helps camouflage fabric that may not lay flat without having to take it in.
- When you hit the tween age, it can get tricky to find lengths that work. As kids’ sizes go up for length, they also go up in the waist. That can be very difficult to alter into a proper fit. Skirts from stores that sell womens XXS sizes can work much better than kids’ sizing once you’ve passed approximately a kids’ size 12.
- For a girl who is still very narrow and petite at a young teen age, separates can be more mature and age appropriate looking than dresses. Belted shirt dresses are also a good choice.
As always, we welcome your comments and suggestions. But, particularly here, please keep them positive. We all want what’s best for our kids.
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