Tap into the power of the month of Adar by inverting each task from chore, to choice.
Month: Adar
Mazel: Fish (dagim)
Mishenichnas Adar marbin besimchah… With the arrival of the month of Adar, our level of joy is increased. What is the formula toward heightening joy? We get our first clue from the fact that the letters samech and tzadek in lashon hakodesh are interchangeable. Where there is tzemichah, growth, there is simchah, joy. But what does growth look like, especially for us busy mothers? Here’s one powerful direction for which this month is especially auspicious for: By tapping into its power of inversion.
One significant theme of the Purim story, which we celebrate during the month of Adar, is “venahafoch hu,” the element of reversal, of turning a scenario upside down—or rather right side up. In Megillas Esther, so much of what first appeared dismal—Esther’s appointment as queen, Haman’s rise to power, the lot to annihilate Klal Yisrael was drawn for chodesh Adar— turned out to be a seed toward the nation’s salvation. Adar is the month when the power of inversion is most potent, and it’s a koach we want to tap into every day of this month in order to experience more of the joy this month is auspicious for, as well.
How does that work? If we think about it, perhaps the greatest detractor of joy is when we go through life feeling forced to do what we’re doing, believing that we have no choice—I gotta do what I gotta do. This perspective sucks all enthusiasm and pleasure out of life.
Think about the contrast between a soldier who’s carrying out his compulsory duties (What a pain!) and one who chooses to join the military from his great love for his country (What a privilege!). What a world of a difference in their attitude! That’s precisely the recipe for simchah: to shift from chore to choice, from “I must do this,” to “I want to do this.”
This, dear sisters, is the koach of Adar–tapping into the power of inversion in order to transform our perspective from chore to choice, thus accessing a wellspring of simchah within.
It was at the end of the Purim story that kimu vekiblu, the Yidden re-accepted the Torah—this time, from ahavah, from choice. At Matan Torah, Chazal explain, the mountain was dangling upon their heads. It was an acceptance that felt compulsory. This time, in Adar, it was a re-acceptance of love: I’m choosing this; I’m embracing this.
By inverting our perspective from chore to choice, we tap into our inner reserves of joy and experience untold simchah even as we engage in our everyday responsibilities.
Here’s how to maximize the potential of this month:
1. Every morning this month, think of (at least) one responsibility you will be carrying out that day. Whether in regards to childcare, housekeeping, avodas Hashem, or any other realm of duty, choose something that you’re currently viewing from the perspective of “I must do this.” I must get the kids costumes/arrange the mishloach manos/daven Shacharis/cook for Shabbos/throw in a load/cook supper etc.
2. Now apply the inversion (venafoch hu) formula to this chore by asking yourself: How can I turn this item on my to-do list from a chore to a choice?
This is neither a form of self-manipulation nor a scheme to convince ourselves that we want something that we’re really dreading. Rather, we’re scratching beneath the surface of the duty in order to discover the element of desire that is already there—and making that our focus. True, there may be aspects of the task that feel unpleasant, overwhelming, or even dreadful. (Exploring the root of the discomfort and coming up with solutions to minimize the unpleasantness is a great idea, of course.)
But now, we’re tapping in to the place inside of us that truly does want to engage in this task. I want to get the kids costumes because it brings me joy to see them so happy; this gives them positive associations to Yiddishkeit. I want to cook for Shabbos because this is my way of nourishing my family spiritually, emotionally, and physically. I want to wash the laundry because this is how I take care of my family/ how I keep the home functional/ how I express my love/ I derive pleasure from the results/etc.
3. With your new, inverted perspective in mind—I’m choosing this vs. I’m forced to do this— you’re ready to tackle the task—and many others throughout your day—with a renewed sense of joy and excitement. Keep davening throughout the day, “Hashem, help me stay focused on the element of choice in what I’m any way doing so that I can experience more and more joy from the everyday duties.”
It’s fascinating to observe how this inversion of perspective from chore to choice—a true growth process— ushers in untold enthusiasm and enables us to connect to what we’re doing. This shift in itself often enables us to engage in the task with so much more intention, presence, and pleasure. It frees us from the shackles of duty and introduces us to the blessed world of bechirah. This Adar, by inverting from “I must” mode into “I’m choosing this” mode, may we all merit experiencing new levels of joy every day.
Have a freilichen Adar and a freilichen tamid!
that was so beautiful!