At Between Carpools, our mission is to host a positive and helpful online resource and community for all our readers. We aim to provide these by presenting topics, suggestions and advice in a variety of subjects.
Sometimes these topics or suggestions are not relevant to every one of our readers. Sometimes they’re only of interest to a small minority. But we like to think that most of our content has universal appeal to our audience.
We appreciate feedback from all of you. We love to engage and hear what you’re thinking. But we do ask that you do so with consideration and compassion. And the vast majority of the feedback we get is positive and, when necessary, constructively critical.
Recently, there was a post contributed by a guest author. Over the few hours it was up, there were a lot of comments. Although many voiced their concerns in a respectful way, a few comments could only be described as mean and spiteful. To protect the feelings of the guest author, we took down the post, but we were left with the belief that this needed to be addressed.
Dear readers – please remember that there are real live people behind the content you read. They have feelings. If you don’t agree with something posted, or simply don’t like it, send us a message. Email us. Send a DM on social media. Write a respectful comment that expresses your opinion without bashing someone else’s. Or simply scroll by. But don’t criticize or make fun of this real person who has real feelings. Treat us and our guests with the respect you yourself would like to receive.
Sarah says
Thank you for this post. This message needed to be said in today’s social media culture. I am so grateful to BCP for the insightful and useful articles and recipes you post daily! Kudos to your great team ????????♀️????????♀️
SL says
Between Carpools, thank you so much for opening this much-needed topic for discussion!
I saw the post yesterday and wanted to add – while I may not be able to afford the guest author’s products, I would love to hear about what she offers on a human level. What inspired her to open her company? How does she come up with the products? Does she travel? Did she do any training? How does she juggle a successful business with her other responsibilities? What keeps her going as a frum woman in the business world? I’m sure there is much we can learn from her. Please, bring her back so we can hear more 🙂
Also, another suggestion – maybe BCP can add a “do not post my comment” checkbox for direct feedback. I know people can email, but hitting reply is right there and so much easier. So maybe that tick box would help. Either way, basic decency is a must. Thanks again for the reminder!
Leah Schapira says
Not a bad idea! We’ll add it to our programming/ website update list. If its something simple we will def try to add it. Thanks.
Sarah says
While not every post applies to everyone this one certainly does…
Gitty says
Another idea-why don’t you guys moderate and also respond to comments. Sites that do that- like cup of jo, smitten kitchen, Emily Henderson- end up with these amazing comment sections, full of community and sisterhood. Why not go that route?
Mom says
Um.. hey do respond!
Gitty says
True, sometimes, but I mean more frequently and more thoughtfully. It’s not a complaint, it’s an idea ☺️
Leah Schapira says
Hi, Every comment gets read by one of the team members. For now we’re can’t get to comment on each comment, although we wish we could! If there is a question that needs to be answered we try to answer that as soon as we can.
Chaya says
I apologize if my comment was perceived as mean and spiteful it wasn’t intended that way. I will make sure to think before I click. I hope you can be mochel
Chana says
I am blown away and so inspired by this article. Most websites ,newspapers don’t have a sensitivity to this like you and this article just raised my admiration for between carpools tenfold. In a social media and “reviews” generation unfortunately sometimes onaas divarim , shmiras haloshon and basic middos are forgotten. Sometimes in the name of constructive criticism people will take the liberty to break hearts. I would venture to say that even when criticism is contructive, think a million times before you post it. Even if the company, website, newspaper claims to want to hear it, Is it really neccasary to share this opinion? It may just be your opinion and not be fact and in the process cause untold damage to the employee ect. There are many laws of shmiras haloshon that go into this. Imagine you were the one being given a review on? I recently started learning shmiras haloshon and its the most fullfilling happiest feeling to know the halachon and refrain from gossiping and criticizing!
Zahava says
Thank you for this very important message!
Sarit Rubenstein says
Such an important message! Sadly many of the people who need to read it, won’t 🙁
It’s always bothered me that people who post comments often do so using a fake name, only a first name, or just write anonymous. If you have something to say that you don’t want anyone to know you said it, don’t say it! That’s usually a good sign letting you know that the comment you are making is negative.
I’ve found that in every article, conversation, speech, shuir, etc. there is something we can learn from. Not always do we enjoy the speech, or appreciate the content of the article. However, rather than looking to disparage it, recognize that if Hashem had you read/hear it that means there is a message for you to gain from.
Keep inspiring and keep producing such incredible content. May you never have to take down a post again due to insensitive comments.