Two tiny habits that will quietly change your home.
We are blessed and our brains are full. Not in a dramatic way. In a quiet, background kind of way. You’re not overwhelmed because any one thing is hard. You’re overwhelmed because everything needs a tiny decision.
Where does this go?
Should I deal with this now?
Do I need this?
Can this wait?
And our brains are doing that all day long.
What saved me wasn’t a new system.
It was taking thinking out of the equation.
I didn’t get more motivated.
I got more automatic.
Two tiny habits did that for me:
- The One-Touch Rule
- Habit Stacking (beautifully explained in this article by Esti Waldman)
They sound official. They’re actually very gentle.
And together they let you get things done… without thinking.
The One-Touch Rule
What it actually means, in real life: When something comes into your hand, you decide what happens to it — all the way — before you put it down.
Not later.
Not after you rest.
Not when you “have a minute.”
Right then.
Because once you put it down without deciding, your brain now has to carry it. So here’s what that looks like, very practically.
The mail example: The mail comes in. You bring it inside.
Most of us:
We put it on the counter.
Then we move it to the table.
Then we move it again.
One Touch says:
You stand there for one minute and:
• Throw out the junk mail
• Open the bill and either pay it, file it, or photograph it for later
• Sign the permission slip
• Put the check straight into your bag or wallet
Then — and only then — you put the empty envelope in recycling and walk away.
So the mail never becomes a pile.
Baby and home examples:
• You change the baby. The diaper is in your hand.
You walk it to the garbage and drop it in.
You don’t put it “near” the garbage.
• You finish the baby’s bath. The towel is wet and in your hand.
You walk it straight to the hamper and drop it in.
• You open a package. The box is empty.
You break it down and put it into recycling right then.
• You take off your shoes. They are in your hand.
You put them into the closet — not next to the closet.
Same amount of effort.
Just one tiny decision earlier.
Sometimes, it also means finishing the future of things.
This is the part no one teaches.
One Touch doesn’t just mean “put it away.”
It means: finish the responsibility attached to it while it’s already in front of you.
So:
• You finish at the dentist. You are still standing there.
You schedule the next appointment for six months from now before you leave.
Not “I’ll call later.” Later never comes.
• Your new passport arrives. It’s exciting. You open it.
Before you file it, you:
• Put a reminder in your calendar four year and four months from now: “Renew passport.”
• (Optional Between Carpools step Put a tiny label outside that says who it belongs to.)
Habit Stacking
Habit stacking is what makes this effortless.
It means attaching a tiny action to something you already do. You don’t create new habits.
You just add a micro-habit onto an existing one. Please read Etsy’s article that delves into this!
For us busy women, each task is an open loop that your brain is quietly tracking:
“Don’t forget that.”
“I still need to deal with this.”
“Ugh, that pile.”
- The One-Touch Rule closes loops.
- Habit stacking makes it automatic.
Now your brain can finally exhale.
If no one ever showed you how to do this, please hear me:
You are not behind.
You are not messy.
You are not failing.
You were not given the invisible skills.
Now you have them.
Finish the thing.
Close the loop.
Let your empty hand do the next right thing.
That’s it. That’s the whole magic.
So true and well written! I noticed from homes that are efficient and well-run (not mine 🙂 )… dishes get washed immediately after they are used- clear, wash, dry, away.. There’s no “bulking” of tasks- now I need to wash the whole sink of dishes etc. Now I needa, needa etc.
I used to do a lot “bulk”- Sunday is laundry day- tons of overwhelming laundry. Let the dishes pileup and do them at night (or not), dedicate a day for paperwork.
Now, I try to finish everything immediately and in small efficient tasks. If forces me to be not lazy, and everything is manageable, no clutter (physical or mental).
Such a nice article — and a life altering concept. Do It Right Away. The relief you feel when things are completed this way makes you realize the strain you were carrying around all the time!
I just tried this for my mail that came today and it was so liberating. I threw out the ads, cashed a check, and updated my calendar in just 2 minutes and now its all off my to do list!
Great acronym to keep in mind OHIO- Only Handle Items Once (can’t give credit where its due, don’t remember who shared it with me)
That was in a Circle comic many years ago! I think about it all the time.
simple but works like magic ty
Or as my Bobby said: dont put it down put it away!
Only works if you dont have a 4 kids under 5!!
Just rem OHIO only handle items once
What about paperwork that requires a lot of time (ex: applications, insurance renewal, tax returns etc) that can’t be done the moment they arrive in the mail? Those take up a tremendous amount of headspace & are draining.
This is EXACTLY what I needed to hear now! This is legit my problem and I’m excited to practice this!
Habit stacking is a great way to deal with chores you dislike. For me that’s dishwasher emptying and laundry folding. So I habit stack! Mornings when I wait for breakfast to get ready-ie water boiling for coffee, toast toasting- I trained myself to unload dishwashers. Same with laundry. While I wait for child to get into pj’s “all by themselves” I challenge them I can fold 10 items in the laundry basket before they finish. Basically habit stacks use time while you are doing tasks you would already be doing..a game changer.
This is a great tip and I am all for it but for those of us that have a handful of very young children it is not really practical all the time. Do not feel guilty if this tip does not work for you. BH you are blessed with many small children and you are doing your best for the stage you are in! It is a great tip to keep in mind when you can afford the extra mintue not to fall into your usual routine but otherwise as another poster said- with 4 under 5 it is not supposed to work!
A good habit stacking for kids… when they are told to bathe/shower, they can use the bathroom, brush their teeth, and after that get into the shower! (It’s all in the same room anyways!) When they come out they are all done! Plus they don’t get toothpaste on the clean PJs! So far, my oldest has gotten good at this. The others need help and prompting.
I’ve been doing this for years in my kitchen.
I use a spice, it goes back into the spice closet .
I take out my oil ,it goes straight back in its spot.
I take out the floure, measure and put it right back in its spot .
when it’s time for clean up all I just have is a couple of dirty dishes not a whole load of ingredients to put away.
What you call habit stacking, I used to I called using my time efficiently. While waiting for something or some one. I do a mini task.
Mail is my challenge. Sometimes I open it daily, throw out the garbage/junk. And then file what I need in my spot.
Sometimes I just take the whole pile of mail and throw it in my spot to be dealt with at some other time.
It is what it is.
Baruch Hashem for the family. Children. Grandchildren.
And the clutter that comes along with them.
I love this. It just got me to wash a bottle that my baby just finished instead of dumping into the sink until the next time I wash dishes which may or may not be moldy by the time I get to it lol but not so funny
Wow such an amazing post !! Loving this idea, have already implemented loads and can see it being life changing !!! It’s the seemingly small habits that make a big difference in the big picture and in the long run !!!!!!!