Often, even adults can feel enlightened by the fresh perspectives of teenagers.
Recently, Victoria shared an insightful line one of her children told her, “Parents don’t only raise kids. Kids raise parents too.”
The goodness and sincerity of children and teens can be so fresh and inspiring.
Several years ago I began collecting stories for my book Teens Talk, recently published by Artscroll. As I interviewed teens from around the world searching for the right, compelling, unique stories, I learned so much from the girls who I interviewed.
Here are some of the lessons that stick out in mind:
- Controlling life’s curveballs
In one story, a girl was left paralyzed from waist down after a terrible, life-altering ski accident. Here’s what she shared (and really lives!). “Getting upset and worked up about won’t make things easier. The only thing you have control over is your reactions and what you choose to do with the curveballs in life. Try to find a way to deal with your reality that doesn’t include destroying yourself in the process.”
On dealing with the ‘why me’ question? “The trick is to view your challenges as gifts and opportunities for growth and greatness.”
- Pain has a purpose. I spoke to one girl that was bullied terribly throughout high school. It seemed like the. End. Of. Her. Life. Yet, she came out of high school and built up her life- including an amazing group of friends.
She told me: “Pain has a purpose. I can see how it turned me into a different person. I am kinder and more sensitive, and it helped me forge a closer relationship with a Hashem.”
The challenging part is to internalize this in the heat of the challenging moment! That’s where the preparation comes in.
- Your future is in your hands
I spoke to one woman that could have had every excuse to fall apart. She came from a broken home. She lived with various foster families in various cities throughout high school. “Your future is in your hands! Don’t let the people hurting you now, hurt your future.”
- Don’t isolate yourself. You don’t plow through life challenges alone.
One exceptional high school girl went through a very difficult period (don’t want to give away the whole story;), but the turning point came when she reached out for help.
“You don’t have to plow through the difficulties in life alone! When you feel like nothing can ever get better, find someone to talk to. It will make a world of difference. It may be a teacher, a therapist, a friend, an aunt, a goldfish, (okay, kidding not a goldfish)- but speaking to someone will make all the difference in the world.”
- Grudges can be so heavy
In one very candid story, a teen shares the intense resentment that she (rightfully!) felt to a popular girl in her grade that took advantage of her. “The bitter feeling of resentment was so gripping, I could hardly let go. Resentment is like allowing someone to live in your mind rent free. She was having fun with her friends while I was miserable because I was busy resenting her. But if you can move on, you will feel so much lighter. It feels so good to let go.”
Thank you for sharing! I will be buying this for my teen daughter. What the last few generations lacked are healthy coping skills. It is imperative to have healthy coping skills to face Hashem’s challenges, and starting from the foundation is the key to handle life. Coping skills also come hand in hand with healthy self esteem feeling self secure, which is also tremendously lacking. Learning the right tools can be the benchmark to either make or break, not just your life, but the lives of future generations. Lets continue to build up our kids, not through stuff but through a healthy attitude and connection to Hashem.
Please consider swapping out the phrase “a broken home” with something else, such as, her parents were divorced.
You’re absolutely correct in saying that a home where the parents are divorced is not a “broken home”. But in the story above, the child was living in foster care. Her home was actually a broken home.
What a beautiful, aidel, tzniusdik picture of a young teen girl!
This book is amazing! I have a few pre-teen and teen girls and they all loved it! and so did i! I so appreciate being able to to get a quality, well written book that gives over important life lessons that everyone can learn from. And it’s a very enjoyable read at the same time.
Thank you!