This coming Tuesday, October 13th, psychologist Ilyssa Bass, PhD will be hosting a free online event: Meltdowns and More: Navigating the Parenting Journey with Complex Kids and Teens.
Dr. Bass has been working with complex kids and families for over 20 years–and this class is an overview of the practical tips and important knowledge she wants all parents to know.
In the meantime, start here!
If you have a complex child: a highly sensitive child, a child with intense sensory needs, attentional issues, hyperactivity, social struggles, or learning differences (and more) here are Dr. Bass’s top 3 Things You Need to Know.
- Their behavior makes sense (even if it doesn’t make sense to you yet).
When your 6-year-old throws his shoe at your head or your teen slams the door so hard the hinges fall off, it seems like they’re “just being difficult.” Truth be told, when you demand they put on their shoes right this minute or continually knock on the door to remind them it’s time to get up, they think you are “just being difficult.” Just like you are a good person, managing stress as best you can, trying to get through the day, so are they, but with WAY less language and skills. When we really get it, understand the root of the behavior, it lets us set up better prevention plans and gives us more compassion for them.
- Their behavior is not your fault (even if others in your life think otherwise).
Of course you have what to work on in your parenting; we all do. But truly complex kids, kids who are stressed out by the demands of everyday living, might have meltdowns or shutdowns even if you were the perfect parent. Persistent difficult behavior usually indicates underlying sensory, emotional or cognitive needs that are unmet. It’s not because you are a bad parent, it’s simply because the needs are big, persistent and can’t always be met.
- Your behavior also makes sense and support will help you lose it less.
You’ve lost it with your kid; you feel guilty; you wonder if you are doing enough. This is totally normal for parents of kids with challenging behavior. It is objectively stressful when your child is dysregulated. That stress will show up in your behavior, which creates more stress for them, which creates more stress for you…it’s a never-ending cycle. How do you interrupt it? Support. There is a loneliness to having a complex child AND you don’t have to do it alone. Having people who get it, get you and can help you brainstorm, problem solve and vent is essential to stopping the stress cycle.
If any or all of these resonate for you, join Dr. Bass:
Tuesday, October 13th
for a 90 minute masterclass:
Meltdowns and More: Navigating the Parenting Journey with Complex Kids and Teens.
This class provides a simple framework to understand your child’s behavior, your behavior and practical guidance on how to move forward.
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