No matter how long my Friday is, no matter if I have a busy week or not so much, there’s always a rush to the finish line. Why is that?
Whether Shabbos starts at 4 p.m. or at 7 p.m., most of us find ourselves in the same situation, week after week. That last half hour before candle lighting we’re rushing to finish all the last minute things – cleaning up the mess, getting the food on the plata, jumping in the shower, washing more dishes that just appeared in the sink, etc.
How come in the summer time we’re still rushing before Shabbos just like on those early winter Shabboses?
Parkinson’s law states that time expands based on the time allotted for it. Meaning, that the more time we give for a project, the longer it will take to get done. Therefore, on late Shabboses, we usually find ourselves rushing at the last minute just like on those early Shabboses.
Instead, give yourself a time limit, and push yourself to have everything done in that time. If you start your Shabbos cooking at 9 a.m. on Friday morning and give yourself a time limit to be completely done by 11:30 a.m., (so, for example, you can go to the gym) most likely, you’ll be done by 11:30. Whereas, if you don’t give yourself a time limit, good chance you’ll still be doing those same Shabbos preps at two in the afternoon.
Wouldn’t it be nice if we could finish all of the Shabbos preps earlier in the day, be ready for Shabbos with time to spare, and walk into Shabbos feeling calm and put together?
What tends to happen right before Shabbos is that we have a lot of quick things that need to get done. I call them the “just this” list.
I just need to jump in the shower
I just need to put the food on the plata
I just need to daven mincha
I just need to set the table
I just need to clean up the counter
The problem begins when all of these “just thises” adds up without us even realizing it. And that results in that last half hour rush.
So what can we do to avoid this?
Starting from candle lighting time, work backwards making your just this list. Include in this list as many of those short quick tasks that need to get done before Shabbos.
You may already have a list like this, however what you may not realize is how long each item on this list actually takes.
Estimate approximately how long each task takes. (If this is hard for you then first spend a few weeks paying attention to how long each task takes.)
However long you think something will take, always estimate a few more minutes. Things often take longer than we think. If you think cleaning the counters will take 8 minutes, give yourself 12 minutes. If you think jumping in the shower and putting on makeup will take 10 minutes, give yourself 15.
Add up all the times. You might be shocked at how long your “just this” list actually takes!
Now, train yourself to begin your just this list early enough with the goal of finishing everything on the list 30 minutes before candle lighting time. (This provides a buffer zone for the unexpected.)
And the last thing to keep in mind is that when we have lots of time on our hands, we often push off till later what could be done now. Ever catch yourself saying: Oh, there’s so much time, I’ll do it later. When you have a pocket of time, use it well instead of pushing things off. Try to get done some of your just this list earlier in the day when you have a free moment.
So, in order to avoid that last minute rush, remember these four principles:
- Give yourself time limits.
- Familiarize yourself with how many pre-Shabbos tasks there really are and how long they really take.
- Always give yourself more time than necessary.
- Accustom yourself to utilize your time by doing now instead of pushing off till later.
Wishing you a wonderful Shabbos!
If the Queen of England were coming for tea at 4:15, would you jump into the shower at 4:00? Of course not! You’d have the table set Thursday night, the house sparkling by noon (or earlier) and you’d be showered, dressed and all ready way in advance of her 4:15 arrival. Does the Shabbos Queen deserve less?
You can set up the candlesticks motzoi Shabbos, shop and prepare throughout the week, have all cooking and food prep done by Thursday night, set the table Thursday night, just do last minute swish, swipe, and tidy up Friday morning — and done by chatzos. We put up the blech at noon on short Fridays, then plenty of time to shower, set lights, last minute stuff. Been doing this almost 9 years, my husband goes to shul an hour before the zman, I have no cleaning help and a very medically involved child to care for. If I can do it, anyone can.
liked!
I agree with your point but your analogy is less compelling if the queen of England would visit you every week
Kudos to you! That’s inspiring. Do you work?
Wow! You inspire me to do the same!
My challenge is that even when everything is ready by noon, the kids are home all afternoon and after erev shabbos kugel, there’s another whole cleanup job…:) BH for such challenges!
If you put a disposable plastic on your table, just bus off the whole mess at once. Voila, clean table. Similarly, once my counters have been cleaned (Friday morning), you want to put anything there (pots, baking dishes, etc), you put it on a paper towel — in fact we tear a roll of paper towels before Shabbos — when serving on Shabbos, everything is placed on a doubled paper towel — that way the counters stay clean over shabbos — those soup drips
(Rest of my comment disappeared) — soup drips
I don’t know why my comment is disappearing. A n d. C h o l e n t. S p l a t t e r s. G o. O n. T h e. P a p e r. T o w e l. A n d. S t r a i g h t. I n t o. T h e. G a r b a g e. M y. C o u n t e r s. S t a y. C l e a n. A l l. S h a b b o s. !!!
So true malky! Easier said than done. Hashem should give you koach….
A trick that has helped me a lot. I take a shower the first, early in the afternoon and get completely ready for shabbos (dressed, makeup etc). After that I still do what I need to, but somehow by me being dressed and ready for shabbos, the house takes a calm, ready for shabbos feeling!
Here is what has worked for me. I have almost the same schedule on long Friday afternoons as I do for short ones. If it works during the winter, it’s good enough for the summer too.
I do most of the cooking/prepping on Thursday night besides for a vegetable and grilling chicken or meat.
I also save most of my cleaning help hours for Friday. Since my house is cleaned in the morning, it deters me from cooking or preparing anything in the kitchen any more than necessary.
It does help that I work on Fridays because I know in advance that I cannot cook or prepare much on Friday.
Love these comments! I’m getting inspired to finish my cooking by Thursday night.
BCP should compile a list of everyone’s suggestions. Not every suggestion will work for everyone, but we can all gain from different ideas!!
Any tips on how to cook and clean on Friday and keep the house clean with really little children? I have a baby and 2 toddlers kah. I’m not complaining I’m just wondering how other ppl manage to have everything ready on time for Shabbos with only little people underfoot. This is including cleaning help that I have on Thursday. I’m wondering how to go into Shabbos feeling calm.
i feel at this stage, it is more kovod shabbos to be calm, then to have fancy dishes and a perfectly clean house. So cut out what you can, make the basics, and enjoy your kids.
I found the best solution for being ready with little ones around is having cleaning help on Friday. Having the help on Thursday I find doesn’t help shabbos come in calmly. I need to redo everything that was done Thursday anyway.
I also have a baby and 2 toddlers KAH and I think the name of the game is not to stress over the mess. You are allowed to sweep the floor on Shabbos also. I recently started giving myself a deadline of 1/2 hour before licht benching this way that last half hour I can focus on making sure kids are ready in pajamas (I do baths in the morning before work). Cleaning up the toys happens then hopefully with the kids help but for sure with the kids involved. Once all that’s done, we sit down for potato kugel using a plastic tablecloth. Obviously, it gets on the floor with such little kids but it’s part of life, I need to sweep again after I light and that’s fine too (especially if they are still eating no point in sweeping before)! I almost always still end up lighting early and always calm last minute! Of course, this is not fool proof, and everyone’s kids are different, but it really changed my erev Shabbos to be ready 1/2 hour early.
Forgot to mention, I work until 1 on Friday even in the winter so I leave very little cooking for Friday (only chicken and salmon both very quick 2 step recipes). I have a cleaning lady once a week and do a quick wipe down and sweeping of my kitchen on Friday all together takes 45 minutes while my husband watches the kids and then the rest of the day besides shower I am more or less taking care of them and not Shabbos prepping. If I give myself those 45 minutes, I find that it goes so much smoother and faster than if I am trying to cook/clean with them under foot. I also find that I can give my 2- and 3-year-olds easy jobs (put away silverware from dishwasher, get pajamas from the dryer, ask Abba where to put x etc), it makes them (both boys) feel very proud and gives me 1 less thing to do. Also bribe them with erev Shabbos treats which at this stage can be as simple as chocolate chips.
I am a part-time working mother of 4 kids and the oldest is 7. I live out of the freezer and make a very simple Shabbos. Sundays I stock my freezer with things like challah and kugel. When I buy chicken, I prep it and freeze it in the pan ready to be put in the oven on Erev Shabbos.
I have Friday morning cleaning help, but by the time Shabbos comes along, toys are everywhere and in the summer especially, my kitchen floor usually needs a swiffer. I really don’t like going into Shabbos with messy rooms, but I’ve learned that if I can’t get the kids to clean up, it’s not worth stressing about and I can light candles with toys all over.
i even prepare my cholent in advance take a bag of bans soak it divide in bags as needed take meat if you put in Sautee with onions and garlic frezee in portion size then all you do is add water potato spices all done
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