It’s a time when we’re not really sure what to do or how to be helpful. These were the acts my family appreciated; someone you know might too.
- Right after the levaya, someone asked us to forward to her some images of my father. She ran to a local store to have them printed out. It was so meaningful; we kept the photos handy and it was very comforting to show them around. People really got to remember and see photos and memories of the niftar.
- A neighbor dropped off a large Thermos with freshly brewed hot coffee each morning. She’d come pick it up at night and refill it in morning. It stayed piping hot all day.
- There are lots of halachos that we were unfamiliar with. A friend dropped off a book with all the halachos of mourning and it was very helpful.
- A friend brought over a beautiful lucite pushka that had my father’s name engraved in it, and it has a place to insert a photo. It’s one of my favorite gifts that gets used every day.
- Friends sent dinner to our families at home, not just the shiva house.
- The Neshamah Should Have an Aliyah is a book that would be appreciated; it’s very comforting to have right after a loss.
- I found cards, and follow up texts so comforting, even if the person has already visited. It’s something tangible to read again and again.
- It’s important for teens/kids, if accommodations work out, to spend some time at the shiva house for a grandparent. It’s very important they grieve and be part of the shiva process. Most of the time they are home helping out. If you can find some time that they can just sit and listen and be around the comforters it does a lot for them.
- Start a whatsapp chat with your family called MEMORIES and fwd all messages, photos, cards and comments to that chat. It’s something you continue adding to down line and it’s a great dedicated space to go to when you want to relive memories.
Do you have any tips of what to say or do for those sitting shiva? Post them here.
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