Climate Control When Dealing with Moody People

If you find yourself in the presence of negativity or difficult people, change your mood in these four quick steps.

You look out your window, waiting for spring — when the snow melts into a small pond in your yard. At least indoors, you’re in control. Thankfully, thermostats make it simple to keep things steady. Expensive, but simple.

Except when an uninvited chill creeps in. Or when the cold isn’t physical, but emotional. 

Some people bring cold into a room. They’re moody, negative, irritable, or chronically dissatisfied. Being around them feels draining and tense. Maybe lonely. If you live with someone like this, it can feel like you’re constantly bracing yourself, trying to stay upbeat while the air around you stays cold.

And yes, you may understand that they’re struggling. You may have compassion for their pain, their history, their stress. But understanding doesn’t magically make it easier to live inside that emotional climate. Pretending it doesn’t bother you doesn’t make it easier. It just leaves you colder.

You can create your own climate control.

First, when someone’s mood pulls the temperature down, pause and notice what’s going on for you.

• “I feel like I’m being dragged down.”
• “Ugh, the energy in here is awful.”
• “Wow, I’m snapping at my kids.”

Second, name what’s underneath.

• Sad. Irritated. Hopeless. Tight.

You don’t have to fight it or fix it. Just put a name to it. When you name it, it loses some of its charge.

Third, do something small that helps you settle.

• Hum.
• Slow your exhale so it’s longer than your inhale.
• Step outside for air.
• Use a calming tool like EFT tapping.

And finally, choose where your attention goes next.

• Tune into your favorite podcast, turn on some music, or dance around the room. You don’t have to keep standing in the draft.

You may not get to choose the emotional weather around you. But you don’t have to live inside someone else’s storm. You can set your inner thermostat to steady.