So your toddler isn’t talking quite as much as your neighbor’s toddler or as much as her older sisters’ did at her age. Now what?
Let me start by making something super clear: these tips are in no way a replacement for a full speech/language evaluation or speech therapy. Ask your pediatrician if your child’s speech/language development is a concern and they’ll guide you.
That being said, you’re the one who’s with your child the most, so you’re uniquely suited to have the greatest impact on your child’s language development.
Toddlers learn by experiencing the world around them. They learn by watching, listening, touching and exploring. What we’re going to do is give words to the new things they’re learning every day.
First, let’s start with self-talk. Self-talk is when you narrate what you’re doing alongside your toddler. That looks like:
- ‘I’m making supper! I put the chicken in the oven, hot hot hot!’
- ‘Bathtime! Turn the bath on, here’s the water! Hi, water!’
- ‘I want a coffee! I’m making coffee for Mommy. Yummy coffee!’
- ‘Let’s build a tower! I’m putting the blocks on top. More and more and more!’
Will you feel a little strange? Possibly. But to your toddler, who sees you do these actions every single day, you’re providing something invaluable: words to accompany what he watches you do.
Next, and equally important, parallel-talk. In parallel-talk, you narrate what your child is doing, using easy, child-friendly language, and lots of repetition. Think:
- ‘You’re eating breakfast! Eat, eat, eat your breakfast!’
- ‘You’re throwing the ball. Throw! Yay! You can throw the ball.’
- ‘You are going for a nap. You’re laying on your pillow! Good night!’
- ‘You want water! Water is for drinking. Gulp, gulp, gulp!’
These are his life experiences, and you’re providing words to attach to them. Do you see all these exclamation points? Language is fun! Use a fun and encouraging tone of voice.
And finally, my personal favorite, expansion. In expansion, you become the speech therapist by adding one single thought to expand on what your child says independently.
- Child says, ‘milk.’ You say, ‘You want milk! Milk is cold!’
- Child says, ‘doggie!’ You say, ‘The dog is outside! Woof, woof, doggie!’
- Child says, ‘no!’ You say, ‘You said no! You don’t want any more!’
- Child says, ‘more.’ You say, ‘More yogurt! You want more yogurt!’
Speaking in that child-friendly language will give your toddler a model: what you expect that they will learn to do! That’s not to say you’re trying to get them to repeat after you, nothing makes language less fun than hearing Mom say, ‘Say ‘I want more please!’’ It’s just to give them a model of what the next level of language looks like and what they’ll eventually achieve.
Are you self-talking, parallel-talking, and expanding all day long? No! Choose a few minutes of calm one-on-one time when you can to practice these skills and watch your child’s language explode. And most importantly, this should be fun. The ideal way to learn language is in a no-pressure environment where everyone has a voice and your toddler’s voice is respected too.
I’m not sure why you’re saying not to do this all day. Obviously it shouldn’t take over your day, but any time you talk to your toddler is a learning opportunity. You can laugh, but I start with my kids from birth. As I dress/undress I count the snaps etc…
Kids need quiet too, to take in and process stimuli from the environment. It’s a GREAT idea to talk to very young children and and narrate, at any age – reading books together, too – but quiet time is also helpful for development.
GO you mom of boys!!! Very impressive! Like you I always try but I find it hard when I’m rushing all day and didn’t make time for this important part of my child’s life! You’re my role model
100% guarantee to get your child talking. I do this with my grandkids as well and oh boy do they talk, and early too! The stares and smiles I get in the streets and stores when I shmooze with my 18 months and 2 year old grandkids is proof and my 4 year old grandson is going on 20 with the vocabulary he uses! And the best part is the connection you cultivate with sharing your words and world! Side effects are you tend to forget how old they really are when they talk BIG but ACT their age!
Another thing I find very helpful (tip from my SLP mom) is to expect words/word sounds in place of a kvetch. For example, if they want to be picked up, say, “you want up?” If the child says “uh-uh” then you say “yay, you said up, let me pick you up!” As long as they tried to say the word. Only do this with one or two words at a time so you don’t frustrate the kid. For example, one of the first words I teach is “help”. That way, when they need something, they very quickly learn to say help instead of whining. More can be “mm-mm”, etc. They learn to assign words to actions/requests.
We did this all day with our toddler who was really not talking but clearly
Intelligent and knew words and was frustrated that no one understood what she wanted. We took her for a speech evaluation and she didn’t qualify. She was snoring like crazy and had her adenoids and tonsils removed (pediatrician didn’t think it was necessary but we pushed for it) and we have videos of her in the hospital recovering speaking in full paragraphs. The surgeon told us her airway was almost completely closed off – she had the vocabulary in her brain but couldn’t get the words out because breathing and talking at the same time was too hard. Mommies you are your child’s best advocate!!
Just wonering, how old was your child when you did this? (removing the tonsils?)
These are all great ideas. Modeling language and watching your child’s vocabulary grow is a JOY!
Next up…can you write an article about toilet training?
I’ll narrate: “Oops, you pooped on the floor?? Uhoh! Mommy clean it up, again !!”