The power of Cheshvan lies in the momentum the keeps propelling us forward–and the sweet scents that linger from the Yom Tov season.
Month: Cheshvan
Mazel: עקרב (Scorpion)
Human Faculty: smell
Letter: Nun
With the month of Tishrei behind us, we step into a chodesh that, from the outset, seems devoid of the spiritual opportunity that is characteristic of its preceding month. We move from a month that is saturated with Yamim Tovim to a whose full name is Marcheshvan (a bitter time), one reason being that it is lacking in any chagim. In the same vein, the letter corresponding to Cheshvan, nun, alludes to nefilah, falling, reminding us that at this time of year we’re in danger of regressing into our old patterns.
But, in Yiddishkeit, no time of year is devoid of opportunities for growth, for deepened connection to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. On any given day, if we are conscious of our thoughts and deeds, we will find that we experience elevation. How do we manage to do that even during this “ordinary” time of year?
Let’s take a look at the human faculty that Sefer Yetzirah associates with Cheshvan to understand what our avodah is during this time. The sense correlating with this month is smell. What’s unique about our sense of smell? Imagine you’ve just put up a pot of rice in the kitchen, and then you hurry off to the back of the house or up the stairs to get something done. Which organ will alert you that you’ve been away for too long? There’s only one answer to that question: your nose. While most other senses require you to be in the presence of the object—whether you’re seeing the pot, touching the pot, or tasting the rice (sound doesn’t help much in this case)—the uniqueness of the sense of smell is that you can be far away from the object and yet still be connected to it in some way. Just think about what the aroma of the bakery does to you even when you’re completely down the block…
Similarly, if you’ve been around in the kitchen long enough, you know that smell lingers. The smell of the onions you fried for supper are there to greet you even when the kitchen is already in breakfast mode the next morning.
That, dear sisters, is what we want to hold on to in Cheshvan. True, the Yamim Tovim have already passed. But Cheshvan has the koach that enables us to still be connected to that which we can no longer see, that which has already passed. It gives the koach for Tishrei to linger on in our neshamah…
Furthermore, the Chidushei Harim explains that when we read the month as Marcheshvan, the root becomes rachash. It’s a word you’d use to describe a ball that still keeps moving because it was propelled into motion earlier. We’re still under the influence of all that elevation. We’re still holding on tight…
Especially as mothers and builders of our home, there’s no better time than now to keep growing. When life is routine and we get to spend more time with our nuclear family during longer nights and less hectic days (hopefully!), the opportunities for self-development abound.
This is our litmus test for how much we really grew during Tishrei.
It is the mazel of this month, the scorpion, that reminds us of the incredible koach we hold in our hands. Understood simply, the reason for this month’s mazel is that since Cheshvan is the time when the rain starts to fall more heavily and we start davening for it in Bareich Aleinu (here in Eretz Yisrael) and the scorpion generally lives near the sea because it subsists on water.
The Bnei Yissachar offers a deeper explanation that gives us insight into our avodah at this time of year: The word akrav (scorpion in lashon hakodesh) can be read in two ways: A woman can either be ikar bayis, the center of her home; or, G-d forbid, oker bayis, the one who destroys her home.
So much lies in our hands, dear sisters. This is our chance to pay attention to the power that we hold and to wield it toward the building of our home, the strengthening our fortress.
How can we keep strengthening our home and making it a more positive place during these “ordinary” days of Cheshvan?
Here’s one idea: We women have been blessed with 9 quantities of speech. How we use it determines whether this overabundance is a gift—or the opposite. During Tishrei, we had many opportunities to use our power of speech in tefillah. How about making this our focus this month, as well—this time, by paying attention to how we use this powerful tool in our day-to-day lives, and when not to use it? From Rochel Imeinu, whose yahrzeit falls on the eleventh of Cheshvan, we don’t only learn the koach of sharing a secret when necessary, but also how to keep silent: she never told Leah that Yaakov was set on marrying her over Leah–greatness in using her power of speech, and greatness in using her power of silence.
As women, we’ve also been blessed with a fine-tuned sense of “smell.” Not just in the literal sense when certain hormones are elevated, but also in the figurative sense: “smelling” just what a child needs to hear, just what shouldn’t be said. We’re intuitive like that! This is the time to take advantage of our gifts.
Want to tap into the spiritual propensity of this month? Maximize these “ordinary” days, when the inspiration of Tishrei still lingers, by using your words to keep building. Looking toward Rochel Imeinu, as our guide, and using our feminine koach of “smell” to discern when our words should be said and when they should be kept inward, we know just what to do.
Here’s how to maximize the potential of this month:
1. Once per day this month, look out for someone in your own home who could benefit from your gift of abundant speech. Focus on “smelling” who really needs it and when. Especially when behaviors are not how you’d want them to be, tap in to this koach of “smell” to discern even that which isn’t noticeable from the outside. That’s our gift of binah yeseirah: to understand what lies beneath the surface.
2. Express that genuine, positive statement to your husband or child. Give it to them fully! You are the builder of your home. Your words are the blessed bricks.
3. Just as you focus on expressing what should be said, pay attention to what should remain unsaid—be it criticism, a breach of boundaries, words that hint toward a lack of respect… All we want to do is emulate Rochel Imeinu, and keep building.
Shlomo Hamelech completed the Beis Hamikdash in Cheshvan, but then he waited twelve months until Hashem commanded him to inaugurate it (in Tishrei). In other words, Cheshvah lost out on having this momentous celebration during her month. Tells us the Medrash that this lack will be filled with the rebuilding of the third Beis during this month. In the zechus of our personal avodah in our own mikdash me’at, may it happen very soon! Veshavu banim ligevulam.
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