In every situation, there’s a positive way to react. These are four ways you can effect positive chinuch lessons in your home despite the trying circumstances.
As mothers, we are currently finding ourselves in a very unique and challenging time. Let me give you several chinuch scenarios, as we try to give ourselves a reality check.
“The best chinuch is your example.”
Scenario One: Mommy raises her voice telling the children that they didn’t clean up and are not in bed on time. In the morning Mommy hears Yossi screaming at Chani, and Mommy screams back, “Yossi, in our house we don’t scream!”
Scenario Two: Mommy, in her soft voice as usual, asks Yossi if he could try to stop screaming, Yossi then lowers his tone and Mommy thanks him.
“Lowering expectations will add tremendous quality of life.”
Scenario One: Mommy is so disappointed that Yossi and Chani are not taking their school conference seriously enough. Then Mommy asks them to do homework and they kind of fill it out but NOT to Mommy’s liking. The next day Yossi gives Mommy a hard time and he refuses to call into the school conference.
Scenario Two: Mommy puts Yossi by a quiet corner, sets up a desk and puts out some cookies and milk. Mommy goes out and walks in every once in awhile, exchanges a warm smile, and then goes about what she needs to do. Yossi doesn’t want to do homework tonight. Mommy tells him he did it nicely the other nights, we will leave it alone for tonight.
“It is so important for Mommy to take care of herself. A relaxed and positive feel in the house will create positive energy.”
Scenario One: Mommy is cleaning, cooking, doing laundry, and has not stopped all day! It’s 8 pm and mommy feels like she is falling apart!
Scenario Two: Mommy realizes that not everything will be perfect today, but if Yossi and Chani go to sleep with a more or less positive atmosphere, Mom will feel satisfied. Mommy also enjoys her coffee break at 12 noon every day and sits down to call a friend as it puts her in a good mood.
“Success is based on our efforts, not our outcomes.”
Scenario One: A successful day does not depend on how clean your house is, how well your children behaved, or how many hours they spent learning and davening!
Scenario Two: The kitchen is upside down. Yossi and Chani are grumpy and fighting, refusing to eat supper. But Mommy just worked hard on her midos to control her initial reactions and responded calmly. So her evening was a success in Hashem’s eyes!