It’s easier to be a mom when there are more kids around, rather than just little kids. Here’s why.
When I had little kids people would tell me, “Little kids, little problems, big kids, big problems.”
Now I have little kids and big kids and I can honestly say they were right. But what they didn’t say was that it was much easier to be a mom of little kids when there are also older kids.
I don’t anymore have days that I say, “I can’t take this!” How many hours can you sit and play with babies, sing head and shoulders, or listen to Uncle Moishy?
I started bathtime at 5 pm. Anything to make the afternoon pass faster.
So what’s different today?
I have big ones, a little one, and in between kids.
I have to cook way, way more. The house gets messier. Big kids talk and talk and talk. They have stories about school and friends and opinions on life. You have to deal with friends issues, teachers complaints, reading problems, helping them overcome rejection, and help them with homework on topics I never learned.
And still, the little kids need everything that the big kids needed when they were little. We still sing head and shoulders, there are just as many diapers, and I’m still mashing avocado so the baby can throw it across the clean floor. But I don’t cry anymore when that happens.
What changed?
“Ma, I love supper, thanks so much.”
“You’re the greatest for bringing me to my friend’s house…”
Just seeing them growing up into a mentch brings such joy.
And the third, and most important reason why it’s easier, is that I learned not to sweat the small stuff. I changed my attitude. Once, when the baby threw her food across the floor, I may have taken it a little personal. It was MY clean floor. Why???
Now I laugh and think how advanced this little one is (she’s obviously brilliant) and wipe it up as fast as I can. I know this throwing stage never lasts longer than 3 months and I can live with that knowledge.
I don’t care if a 5-year-old yells in the pizza shop, “I want slush!!!” on tone 10 one hundred times in a row (true story, no exaggeration, it happened today). It used to bother me so much. I would come home from the pizza shop and tell my husband that our 5-year-old needs some major punishment, how embarrassed I was, and how I can’t take the kids to the pizza shop.
I thought it was a failure if these things happened. Today, when we came home from the pizza store, and he didn’t receive the slush, I considered a victory. My long term goal was to teach him that when I say no, I mean no. So, today was a success.
Today, I understand long term goals. The little things don’t matter as much.
If someone would have told this to me when I was younger, would I have listened? Would I have understood the long term goals? That tantrums are a stage, that waking up during the night is a stage, that all that passes. I’m not sure. But maybe by sharing this, some of you will and it will make those early years, that may seem difficult, a little sweeter.
Well said!! Thanks for the encouragement! It keeps us going!
Thanks so much for this article! I love it!! I just can’t stand when ppl try to scare that overwhelmed weak mother, that didn’t have 2 hrs of uninterrupted sleep for months, she is dizzy, exhausted and unappreciated. Why should someone tell her “enjoy it while they are young, it only gets harder” How should she feel? Is this how you encourage her and give her strength? Again, thank you so so so much for this article!! I hope there are mothers out there that will read it and get chizuk to continue with there holy work!!
Best article I’ve ever read on here.
beautiful article
I have been terrified to go off BC and this just gave me so much reassurance. Thank you Leah Schapira!
Thanks for the fantastic, honest, and encouraging article. I loved it!
As a mom of young children I love this!! Please write more articles on this subject!
thanks! As a mother of 2 under 2 this gave me lots of reassurance
Love it
This is so so so so true! Hit it right on the nose! Although my kids are still young-ish I can have a normal conversation with my 7year old. But balancing the afternoon routine is another story! Write an article on tried and true schedules from 3-7 PM!
thanx a lot for this! i have 3 kids under 4 and keep wondering how ppl manage!!!
Leah, here’s one mother of little ones who’s REALLY listening to you. Thanks for this fabulous article.
Thanks so much for the encouragement, just what I needed to hear as a mom of 2 little ones!!
Yes! 1000% from a mother of teens who felt the same way when her kids started growing up and finally had another set of hands. Physical exhaustion is very different from teen challenges. When you have to do everything yourself on 2 hours of sleep you can’t think straight. I remember being overjoyed when my oldest was able to bring me a pamper for my 2nd one! So to all mothers of little ones- your days may seem endless now but it does pass.
Ill add one more: Babysitters!
Thank you! This is amazing….
So encouraging! Thank you for this!
This article really helped me smile and take a deep breath! Thank you! I loved the slush story, I could totally relate!
Well said, but I’d add- good help always goes a long way. Especially if you don’t have family to rely on for a little R&R, then know that there’s no shame in hiring the help you need to recoup so you can deal with another day and take some me time. Because you deserve it!
Thank you for writing this!!! Such incredibly timed chizuk
Needed to read this today! Thanks:)
Absolutely best article!
I read this a few years ago when I was in the throes of having 3 kids under 4 and absolutely drowning. I cried when I read it. Easily one of my favorite things I’ve ever read, and a few years later I’m happy to read it again and feel like I’ve come out the other end! Kol hakavod to the author for so perfectly putting into words the emotional turmoil so many of us feel.
Just had my third baby and I feel so blessed in so many ways to be a mom of 3 bh, but I can’t count how many times a day I get overwhelmed. This is just the chizuk I needed this week. I’m going to keep coming back to it until my kids are older and I can laugh about having been in this stage 🙂 thank you Leah!
Thank you for this! I needed this. May H’ bless you and repay you with much nachas from your children and only good
What an amazing article! What chizuk! I’ve been agonizing over whether to try for a fourth baby and this might have been the push I needed . . . my oldest is almost 7 so I am just starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel of the hard work of the early years.