• Skip to content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
Between Carpools
Gift Guide
  • Home
  • Holidays
    • Chanukah
    • Fast Days
    • Lag B’Omer
    • Pesach
    • Purim
    • Rosh Hashanah
    • Shabbos
    • Shavuos
    • Sukkos
    • Tu B’Shvat
    • Yom Kippur
  • Family Life
    • Marriage
    • Parenting
      • Baby & Toddler
      • Children & Teens
    • Crafts & Activities
    • Books
    • Downloads
  • Food
  • Living
    • Inspiration
    • Health & Fitness
    • Home & Kitchen
    • Life Management
    • Travel & Places to go
      • Travel Food
      • Travel Hacks
      • International Destinations
      • USA Destinations
    • Work
    • DIY & Hacks
    • Organizing & Cleaning
    • BCP Basics
  • Style
    • Beauty
    • Fashion
    • Home Decor
  • Shop
    • BCP Products
    • Home / Kitchen
    • Deals
    • Fall / Winter
    • Spring / Summer
    • Our Picks
  • Gift Guide
Gift Guide
  • Home
  • HolidaysHolidays
    • Chanukah
    • Fast Days
    • Lag B’Omer
    • Pesach
    • Purim
    • Rosh Hashanah
    • Shabbos
    • Shavuos
    • Sukkos
    • Tu B’Shvat
    • Yom Kippur
  • Family LifeFamily Life
    • Marriage
    • ParentingParenting
      • Baby & Toddler
      • Children & Teens
    • Crafts & Activities
    • Books
    • Downloads
  • Food
  • LivingLiving
    • Inspiration
    • Health & Fitness
    • Home & Kitchen
    • Life Management
    • Travel & Places to goTravel & Places to go
      • Travel Food
      • Travel Hacks
      • International Destinations
      • USA Destinations
    • Work
    • DIY & Hacks
    • Organizing & Cleaning
    • BCP Basics
  • StyleStyle
    • Beauty
    • Fashion
    • Home Decor
  • ShopShop
    • BCP Products
    • Home / Kitchen
    • Deals
    • Fall / Winter
    • Spring / Summer
    • Our Picks
  • Gift Guide
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest

by Natalie Vinegar | August 30, 2023 | 9 comment(s)

Playdate Etiquette 101

Do we need to be more mindful when hosting other children, or sending our children to a friend to play? Our readers respond.

I had this great idea for a post: let’s give parents and their children the tools to be the best hosts and guests on play dates. But then I realized I might not be the best person to write it (I may or may not be guilty of some of the suggestions of what not to do below). So, we decided to turn to you, our readers, instead. Thanks to all of you who contributed (and feel free to add more in the comments).

P.S. If you do any of these things listed below, you’re still a great parent. We still want to have your kids. And you’re still allowed to host. Just some friendly suggestions to try and be mindful of… 

If you’re hosting: 

  • Do not send them to a neighbor’s house without checking first.
  • No screens, please!
  • If you plan to leave the kids with your cleaning lady because you need to be out, it’s not a good day to host. 
  • If you’re the host, make sure to ask if the child has any allergies and if they can swim if you have a pool.
  • Offer a snack. A lot of kids are picky or shy and won’t want to eat dinner by you and will wait until they get home, so they will definitely be hungry. If they do want to eat, it’s nice to check with the mother if it’s something they can have (especially if they will get fleishig and she made a milchig dinner). 
  • Don’t say the playdate is for just an hour if the parent had to walk or drive a lengthy time to get to you. It’s best to host when you can be flexible. 
  • If another kid is going to be there too, say so in your invite. Some kids prefer knowing someone else will be there, some kids don’t do well with other kids.
  • There are some children who are a pleasure to host – they disappear into the playroom or bedroom with your child and play quietly and nicely, and they don’t cause eruptions with other members of the family. Then, there are those kids who seem to cause trouble whenever they’re around–messes, fights, etc. It’s up to you to determine what you can handle and which guests are healthy to have in your home. 

If you’re dropping off: 

  • Please do not send sick or was-just-sick-this-morning kids over to someone else’s house.
  • Let your host know in advance about allergies, sensitivities, kashrut observance.
  • Be available by phone or text if host needs to contact you or ask a question!
  • Stick to agreed pick up time; give a 10 minute heads up when you’re coming to pick up.
  • Invite back when you’re invited. Some mothers prefer for their children to have friends over because it’s hard for them to get out of the house (they have little kids that would need to be put in the car, etc.). Even if she prefers to host, at least she knows your intention is there. 
  • Don’t send along a messy snack. 
  • Is your child asking to play with a certain friend? You can tell the other mother, “X would love to play with Y.” When she responds that her child would like that too, you can ask which house works better for her and to let you know when it works. 
  • Try to make sure that your child cleaned up, if they made a mess.
  • Check in at some point.
  • If it’s a Sunday playdate, try to send your kids with a full belly unless the other mom tells you she’s doing dinner/lunch.
  • Always ask in advance if it’s a good day or time.
  • Remind your child to take out one toy/ game at a time and pack away before taking out another activity.
  • Do not overstay!

Playdate Timing:

  • Play dates should be two hours max; they can be shorter on a school night. 
  • Check in after an hour or so offering to pick up then. Leave it up to the host to offer to have it go on longer.
  • Make up a timeline beforehand so there are no surprises.

FOR EXCLUSIVE CONTENT AND A PEEK BEHIND THE SCENES, MAKE SURE TO JOIN OUR WHATSAPP STATUS HERE. JOIN OUR WHATSAPP GROUP AND WE’LL LET YOU KNOW WHEN A NEW POST IS UP!

Related Posts

Updated! How to Be a Good Carpooler
Are You Overwhelmed? 3 Myths Busted
SBT: The Best Way To Unwind After A Long Day

Filed Under: Children & Teens Tagged With: kids, teens, tips

Natalie Vinegar

Natalie is our email marketing guru and the curator of our newsletters (you can subscribe over here)–she has a keen eye for discovering the gems and compiling the BCP content that might be relevant in your life right about now. By day, she works as a director of marketing and communications as a non-profit and has been behind the marketing campaigns for other well known brands over the past decade. In her spare time, she enjoys discovering vintage finds, sustaining her houseplants, and cooking for her brood.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. A says

    August 30, 2023 at 1:43 pm

    Can we add information about various ages and stages and how things differ based on that?

    Reply
    • A says

      August 30, 2023 at 1:44 pm

      I apologize I should have started with this: but this was amazing and so helpful!

      Reply
  2. Eva says

    August 30, 2023 at 6:25 pm

    Great ideas. It would be a good idea to pop in erratically, especially if children “disappear into the playroom or bedroom with your child.” Safety first! You never know what can happen when children are unsupervised, and there are too many horror stories. Thanks for a great post!

    Reply
    • Boyzmama says

      August 30, 2023 at 11:19 pm

      Agreed 100%! Always check on the children especially when it gets quiet.

      Reply
  3. PSA says

    September 1, 2023 at 9:07 am

    Oh no please please do not text and say my child would love to play with your child and when the mother responds reply ok who’s house works better ! If your child wants to play with a certain kid then YOU invite to your house. Unless you are very close with this mother do not semi invite your kid over. It’s super annoying.

    Reply
    • Dinah says

      September 1, 2023 at 3:44 pm

      Agree!!

      Reply
  4. Reena Gasner says

    September 3, 2023 at 8:59 am

    Why? Can’t everyone just be truthful. If it doesn’t work for you, you say I really I’m not able to have friends today. If everyone would just learn how to say no sometimes, it would be so much better. If everyone would accept that a person doesn’t have to say yes . It would be so good for everyone.

    Reply
    • MS says

      September 3, 2023 at 12:32 pm

      I understand what you are saying but it puts the other mother in an uncomfortable position and it’s so unnecessary. If your child wants a play date and you don’t want it in your house that’s just tough luck. You tell your child sorry sweetheart we’ll have a friend another day. If you’re in a bind have an appointment etc then you can ask a good friend if your child can come to their house for that time frame. But please do not ask someone you don’t know too well to have your child over. Trust me if it’s better for them at their house they will reply to an invite with “let them come here instead” without prompting from you.

      Reply
  5. Leah says

    September 3, 2023 at 10:26 am

    If you’re the host, discuss with your child beforehand what would be nice games and activities to do with their friend and plan accordingly.

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recipe Rating




This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Primary Sidebar

Subscribe to our newsletter!

Sign up to our email list, so you can always be in the know.

"*" indicates required fields

This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Don’t Miss These!

Mommy is Davening, but What Are the Kids Doing?

3 New Ways to Top Challah (or Fake That You Made It)

How to Help Your Daughter Start Davening in Shul on the Yomim Noraim

Make Amazing Crinkle Cookies for Pesach (No Nuts!)

Most Popular Recipes

Chicken Paella: The One Dish Dinner (Most of) Your Family Will Love. Chicken, rice, and vegetables, cooked in one pot. It’s time for us to try Spain’s favorite dish.

Chicken Paella: The One Dish Dinner (Most of) Your Family Will Love

Oh Greek Yogurt: How Do I Love Thee? Let me count the ways. My formula for a perfect Greek-based meal. How to use Greek Yogurt in so many different creative ways. The perfect breakfast!

Oh Greek Yogurt: How Do I Love Thee? Let me count the ways.

Footer

A lifestyle site for the busy jewish woman


Company

  • About Us
  • Press
  • Affiliates
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms & Conditions
  • Disclaimer

Explore

  • Beauty
  • Food
  • Style
  • Travel & Places to go
  • Work

For customers

  • Contact Us
  • Write for Us
  • Advertise

Connect

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest

Affiliates

Disclaimer: Between Carpools LLC is an affiliate with many of the merchant links on Betweencarpools.com. This means we will be compensated if you choose to utilize the links located throughout the site. Betweencarpools.com is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com.

© Between Carpools, 2023. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

©2023 Between Carpools LLC

Website managed by SiteCare.com

Copyright © 2023 · Brunch Pro Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in