When mom needs to travel for work (or for any reason), there’s a lot of planning that has to happen for things to run smoothly while she’s away.
I work for a UK-based payment technology company and I’m frequently asked to attend conferences and speak on panels. Normally I work from home (which is a huge improvement from my last job) but I travel often, sometimes multiple times a month. Here are my tips for how to handle it when you’re the one who’s going to be away.
Following up on the “Husband Travels Often” article: what happens when it’s the wife traveling for work?
The first thing to understand is that when it’s the woman traveling, it tends to be more impactful on the home since I have to plan what’s for dinner, stay on top of kids’ activities and school matters, and if needed coordinate babysitter coverage. So it’s a different kind of challenge compared to when the husband is the traveling spouse.
[1] Plan it out with your husband
My biggest tip is to actually sit down with your husband before you leave and talk about what has to get done. This might sound a little silly, because you think he should know, but really there are things that we do by default and our husbands have no clue about. So it’s really helpful not to just assume they get what has to be done (and then get frustrated when they don’t do it!); instead, I write out and provide my husband with a list, broken down by day, or what I have to do to make sure things get done (more on this list later). Your husband is likely going to be willing and able to help with things once he knows what those things actually are! Don’t assume you have to do it all yourself—that’s not true and, frankly, your husband will feel appreciated and valued by the fact that you’re asking.
[2] Ask for help
I can’t overemphasize how much I hate asking things like “who can drive my kid home from school” but I also know that there are many willing and able to help. Frankly, when I’m not traveling, I am that person! I worked at a job for 15 years where I had less flexibility so I had to constantly ask for favors but could never return them. Now, I LOVE seeing a request in a WhatsApp class chat, and I jump in whenever I can because I feel like I’m returning all those favors others did for me. You never know who else is out there looking for that.
Editor’s Note: Try to be a couple favors ahead so people are thrilled to have the opportunity to help you out. See more on our post on how to be a good carpooler.
[3] Talk to your kids
Depending on their ages and character, different kids will react differently to you not being around. One very important, but also relatively easy, thing is to set up a time and place to talk to them even when you’re traveling. I always make this a priority. Even if I can spare time for only a quick “Hi, how is your day,” it means they know that Mommy may be traveling but that travel doesn’t mean she forgot about them.
With that said, some kids may HATE it when you travel regardless of how you try to soften the blow. It’s legitimate that they don’t like it when you’re not around. But it doesn’t make you a bad mother that you’re traveling anyhow. We can’t always meet the needs and wants of every single kid. They’ll learn that even though they don’t like it, ultimately it will be okay and they will be okay, too.
[4] Do food prep in advance.
This is one of the biggest challenges when I travel, and advance prep makes all the difference! Here’s how I handle it:
First, don’t be afraid to rely on takeout. It’s not always the answer for every family, but it’s always there as an option and people shouldn’t be afraid to use it. It’s one less thing to add to the list. With that said, it really bothered me that on a trip where I was gone Sunday through Thursday, my family would be buying food every night. So I have other methods I rely on, too.
Prepare a Crock-Pot with chicken and potatoes and put it in the fridge. My husband can plug it in the morning before work and put it on low. Then—bam!—supper is ready for the first night I’m away.
There are a variety of foods you can prep and put in the fridge, and which can simply be stuck in the oven on 350℉ for an hour. For example, a prepared 9×13 pan of schnitzel can be refrigerated for 2-3 days and warmed up by your husband or age appropriate kids and then one night for supper you have schnitzel with veggies (you can buy cut-up veggies or let them cut them up themselves). Meatballs and shepherd’s pie are other options that work well. These are also things that freeze well, so I freeze many of them far in advance and have them waiting in the freezer for my next work trip. This way when I’m preparing for a trip, I’m not also preparing four meals to put in the fridge.
[5] Write it all down
As I mentioned earlier, before I leave I literally write a Word document with the schedule for every day, including which child needs what each morning, who does what each evening, what goes in each child’s schoolbag, and the like. I relied on this very heavily when my travel schedule was a new thing we were adjusting to. (Eventually my teenage daughter told me to stop because, in her very teenage words, “I think I can do this better than you,” but my husband still describes it as a lifesaver!)
[6] Be flexible
The last thing—and for me, the hardest one—is to be okay when things don’t go exactly how they would if you were home. I had to work on this one. When I came home and found that my schedule hadn’t been precisely followed, my youngest went to school without enough snacks, or no one did homework one night… I had to learn to just let that go. It was fine. Everyone survived! And I think we all ended up better for it.
These tips are also good for when Mom goes to the hospital to have a baby