We all have little tips to share that help us improve our own relationship…we put all of them together to create one really awesome wife.
Make sure to share your “better wife” tips in the comments!
When it comes to your husband’s faults (hey, we all have some too!) separate yourself from them. It’s not your issue. Work on not taking them personally. Instead, work on your own!Complain less often. An easy way to do this is commit to not complaining during the first 30 minutes after he walks into the house in the evening.
Express gratitude more often. You don’t need to wait for big ticketed items to thank your husband. Thank him for answering the phone the first time you call, thank him for coming home for dinner on time, for making your son laugh, for keeping his cool when you didn’t.
Show concern (and if you don’t care, act like it!).Once, I had housekeeping help that would simply answer “No” whenever I’d ask her if she knew where something was located. Then, she’d just continue what she was doing. In my mind, if I asked her where the can opener was (and I knew she was the last person to put it away), then she should at least make believe she cared and should make an effort to stop what she’s doing and help me find it. Even if she simply opened and closed drawers, at least something! Likewise, whenever my husband asks me where something is, even if I never before saw it in my life, I don’t say, “No.” Instead, I might say, “I haven’t seen it, but do you need me to take a look?” or “It doesn’t sound familiar, but I’ll definitely keep an eye out for it.” Or, if he asks, “Did you get a chance to handle such and such?” Instead of “No” or “Not yet,” I might say, “I’m not done yet, but I’m on top of it” or “I put it on my schedule to take care of Wednesday. I’ll let you know when it’s handled.”
Say what you need. Opening the fridge and saying “Oh, we are out of milk” means nothing to men. They think you are saying it to make small talk. Men need to be told what you need, in a nice way, of course i.e. “Can you please pick up some milk on the way home?” It sounds simple but took me years for me to figure that one out.
Create your own happiness. It’s not his job to entertain you or keep you happy.
Control less. Don’t tell him what to do, how to do it, or exasperatedly do it yourself because you don’t like the way he’s doing it. If he offered to bath the kids, let him mess up the bathroom, use the wrong towels… Try to control it once, and there won’t be a second time of someone bathing the kids for you.
Make sure that not all your texts to your husband are “functional.” Don’t only text when you need something or have a specific question. Just send a little greeting every once in a while, “How are you? How’d the meeting go? I decided to make your favorite for dinner and it smells amazing! I saw that you filled my tank with gas – thanks!”
Do one thing for spouse every day that they won’t know about—just for sake of thinking of them and doing for them. This builds connection. Did you remember him saying you were low on printer paper? Order and restock. Do you know he’s going to be coming home with a lot of packages? Leave him the closer parking spot. He doesn’t need to know you did it intentionally. It’s for yourself.
Remember, it’s your life and your marriage. If you don’t nurture it, no one will.
What tips do you have for us?