The answer? Absolutely not. But then what are we supposed to do if he’s not fulfilling his part? There are 2 voices in a frum woman’s brain. One says, “you’re not his mashgiach.” And then there’s the shriller, louder, more authoritative one. The one that says, “He is not fulfilling his tafkid! This is not…
4 Steps to Life-Altering Habit Hacks
How to leverage “Atomic Habits” this Elul to make the habit changes you want to stick. It’s that time of year. Opening the door to crisp cool mornings, kids flying out of the house with snacks and homework in hand, settling in for the long year ahead. And wondering. What will the new year bring?…
Tzipisa LeYeshua?
Each one of us is instrumental in bringing about the Geulah. The question is: Do we want it? And why do we? Some years ago, I read a story by Etka Gittel Schwartz. The narrative started out describing a mother who was preparing for a family trip – packing a lunch of pita and yogurt,…
Revolutionary Marriage Advice: Say What You Mean
Do you need a quick refresher on wife-husband communication? This is a quick guide to understanding what he hears when you express yourself in a less than direct way. “I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure that you realize that what you heard is not…
Why You Shouldn’t Say “I’m Sorry”
Instead of expressing guilt to your husband, express your apology with an expression of gratitude. Here’s how– One of the top dubious contributions of Hollywood to the art of relationships (coming up right next to “love at first sight” and “they lived happily ever after”) is the wildly-inaccurate-but-cool-sounding aphorism “Love means never having to say…
From the Heart of a Mother of a Lone Soldier
BCP Contributor Alisa Avruch shares the emotions and experiences of being in the US and having a son in the IDF. On October 7th, I became the mom of a soldier at war. I used to be a regular Jewish mom like you. Focused on carpool, Amazon returns, and finding the perfect one-pan-dinner. Oh, and…
Are You a Frog Farmer?
What does that even mean? Is it you that’s turning your husband into a frog…or a prince? Are you a Frog Farmer? A what? Well, let’s see how to explain this. You see, there are some women who turn frogs into princes. And then… There are some women who turn princes into frogs. What?!? I…
Keeping Hashem in the Picture
How to get in the right frame of mind during the hustle and bustle of these days. Once again, we launch at dizzying speed into the September season. No sooner have we recovered from the between-camp-and-school maelstrom, then it’s school supplies and shoe-store mobs and Oh! What’s on the menu for Rosh Hashana this year? …
How to Handle a Disagreement with Your Husband
There’s a bit of strategy involved when hearing what he wants and expressing your own desires. How does decision-making happen in your family? Does it start with a fight? With you explaining why things should be your way? Do you find yourself “being mevater” to preserve the peace? When do you keep quiet? When do…
Small Things That Deepen Your Marriage Connection
These baby steps go a long way in moving your marriage forward. When I was getting married, I knew intuitively that it was going to require ‘work’. A bad marriage has fights, after all, and cold silences, and mis-matched expectations. Who wanted that? A good marriage, conversely, was presumably one in which both parties work…