Spilling the Tea on “Treatment” Gifts (From Someone Who Knows)

Someone you know is going through chemotherapy. You want to give her something to show that you care and that you’re thinking of her–but what items truly make things a bit easier?

As this medical parsha entered my life  without an invite, so did all the gifts that came with it! 

Some were great, and truthfully, some went straight to the garbage! 

My mother-in-law took it upon herself to send me a gift once a week. Seeing the package on my bed after every hospital treatment got me wondering, “What gift would she get me next? Hasn’t she already given me all the gifts there were to give already?”

To all gift givers, thank you for thinking of me! Being at the receiving end, though, I learned which gifts were really appreciated and useful.

1. The Right Connection. The most important! No, this is the most vital thing that your friend needs: Someone to talk to who has gone through, or is currently going through, the same thing. It’s calming and soothing for her to connect with another who can really answer her questions and quell her fear about the future. So connect her to someone (with her permission of course!) This definitely ranks as the best gift she could possibly receive!

2. Be Well IV Crewneck. During chemo, some patients require a port or pick line on their chest or upper arm.To retain dignity and tznius, this top is a real game changer! Besides for being simply cute, the easy accessibility makes all the difference. I remember the nurses coming over and asking me where I got it and if they could recommend it to the next patient. I couldn’t promote this enough! (It is 100% the best, most useful gift I received. I used and abused this top so much that my friend bought me another crewneck in a different color. Check out this hoodie version as well. (I never got this, but it would definitely be useful for long treatment days. If your friend has a port, go for the hoodie version and not the sweatshirt). 

3. Miracle Ride. Up at night…can’t sleep in the day…give your friend the book that will feel like a guiding hand. The Miracle Ride is a story of a young girl batting Hodgkins. With all the anxiety that comes with a diagnosis, the unknown is one of the hardest parts. This book taught me everything that was to come in terms of treatment and the author’s positivity is contagious. You can ask my husband, I was laughing the whole way through reading it! (Great for teens!)

4. Jumping in Puddles. This book kept me up so I could finish in one night. Then I handed it to my mother-in-law who finished it the next night! It’s written so refreshingly and really makes you see the Yad Hashem in everything.

5. The Longchamp Tote. Running back and forth to chemo while being Jewish means bringing everything but the kitchen sink to the hospital. It requires a gorgeous bag to do so. This Longchamp was my savta simcha bag and came wherever I went. Why not let your friend travel to hospital in style?  

6. Silk-Lined Beanies. This pretty knitted hat’s interior is made of silk, and you can be sure your friend will love it! I received this as a gift from an organization and tossed it in the back of my closet. It was only a while into treatment when my hair was thinning that realized how useful and comfortable it was!

7. A Stanley. Drinking is a big requirement for chemo days, scans and the like, and if your friend is travelling far this couldn’t be more helpful. A big Owala also works. 

8. Pyjamas. After a long draining day, this is just what will make her smile (thanks to the one who gave me this…it gave me something to look forward to after a long chemo day!) 

9. An Artscroll Pocket Tehillim couldn’t be more useful and appropriate. It will be in her clutch more than you realize. I also loved using this gorgeous Tehillim. Instead of giving your friend everything, hand her the key to everything! Thank you sis for this gift!

10. Boten Sunglasses. Your friend is most probably extremely sensitive to the sun; these are a pretty pair.

Our guest author is a 20-something-year-old young woman with one baby who wishes to remain anonymous. 

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The Between Carpools team loves inviting our colleagues and friends to share their expertise, tips, and ideas with all of us.

6 responses to “Spilling the Tea on “Treatment” Gifts (From Someone Who Knows)”

  1. R Avatar
    R

    So thoughtful. One of my friends sent me a fleece blanket with pictures of my family on it for those days on the couch. I make fake fur throws similar to the soft baby blankets ( but much bigger )for people who are undergoing treatments. (Fabric from Hobby lobby, They are also available in home goods or any of those stores for not too much money too)

  2. R Avatar
    R

    For someone with a mediport in the chest, some really soft modal tanks to wear under a hoodie or button-down shirt were a wonderful gift I was given. Also, one of the meds in treatment made me very sensitive to cold in the hands and feet and breathing when outside, so during winter Uggs, warm, soft gloves and scarves can be nice

  3. Bracha Avatar
    Bracha

    As someone who’s spent many years with family members in treatment I want to be the one to say that EVERYTHING is appreciated. The very fact that someone cares to reach out is meaningful. I think these guides and discussions, while well meaning, cause many a would-be giver to hesitate. People are scared of doing/giving the “wrong” thing. The truth is, in my experience, every person and situation is different and someone can be as offended by receiving one of the gifts mentioned here as the next person will be thrilled. Don’t hesitate! Daven that Hashem should guide you to the right thing to give. And those on the receiving end – don’t judge! Knowing how to receive is a chance for you to do a chessed too.

    1. Chaya Avatar
      Chaya

      Thank you for this! I recently gifted someone who was going through a hard time. I was so self-conscious and insecure about what to get her. I didn’t want to offend her or get something that might trigger a negative reaction, or something overrated. And then I just realized that the point is to show her that I’m thinking about her, to reach out and be thoughtful. So yes, I got her a throw blanket. I’m not super close with her, I don’t really know her personal tastes, and I figured worst case, it’ll stay on her couch but I know I did mine to show her that I care.

  4. Leora Avatar
    Leora

    Such wonderful ideas! Thank you for sharing!

  5. Anonymous Avatar
    Anonymous

    The IV crewneck is amazing! Didn’t know that existed. Such a game changer. Does anyone know where to order tznius hospital gowns for inpatient treatment?

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