Your child is engaged and now you have a wedding to plan. Incorporate these tips from “a big sister” into your plan.
Assuming the L’chaim was already, and that you started working on your guest list, and that you read the tips on how to make a wedding in 6 weeks (or more!) over here (week by week guide to making a wedding). You also read how to set up a practical schedule for the day of the wedding and you even prepared all the physical things you need for the wedding day.
You are all organized!!
However we’re going to share the tips that your big sister will tell you. The things that don’t fit into one specific category but things you really, really should keep in mind, especially if you are the Kallah or the mother/sister of the Kallah taking care of the wedding! These are tips for the week of the wedding or the day of.
If you have any more to share, please share in the comments so others can benefit from them.
- Leave nothing on your schedule for the week of the wedding. Aside from the basics- mikvah, manicure or anything that MUST be done the week of the wedding, do not schedule anything else. There will be last minute things that you will need to take care of. And if nothing extra comes up, you will enjoy going into the wedding calmer.
- Prepare a dress rack. You can borrow or rent one (by the week) if you don’t have one. Gowns take up a LOT of space. If you have a house of girls, hanging them all in one central place will save you a lot of stress. On each gown hanger you can hang a shopping bag with stockings/socks, shoes, hair accessories and undergarments. Boys suits, shirts, ties, socks… can also be added to the dress rack.
If you do have a house of girls, it’s very helpful to hang their Shabbos sheva brochos clothing with all the accessories on the rack too. It’s quite stressful to shop and shop for so many details, and then turn over the house looking for that one hair accessory you bought for your younger daughter. - Wear your shoes. Whichever new shoes you plan on wearing for the wedding or Shabbos sheva brachos, start wearing them NOW. You can wear them every Friday night in the house so they don’t get ruined (have someone else serve the soup if they are heels!). Just wear and wear them. Your feet will thank you during the simcha.
- Assign a designated driver for the day of the wedding. If you have boys that need to go to yeshiva part of the day, girls that need to be driven to appointments, or even if you want to stagger the family coming to the hall at different times. If you want to pick up your parents/grandparents to come earlier to photos, or just in case you need someone to run a last minute errand. Assign someone to drive everyone around. It can be a sibling, a teenage son or family friend. If you don’t want to bother anyone or do not have family to help you, you can hire a driver by the hour to be on call and drive everyone around town.
- Plan hair and makeup in one location. This is especially important if you have a lot of people and you don’t want the makeup and hair waiting around. A makeup artist once told us that she doesn’t leave her studio to do makeup in halls or homes, but is happy for the family to have the hair person come to her studio. It doesn’t hurt asking to try and coordinate so that it’s in one location.
- Food. The night before the wedding, you want good wholesome food. The day of the wedding you want to make sure that everyone in the wedding party (aka yourself, spouse and kids) eat. No need to add hanger (hunger + anger) to the hecticness of the day. Be smart. Have someone prepare the food, prepare yourself or order food (the less greasy the better everyone will feel).
- Accept help (or hire help). So many people offer to help. Take them up on it. They really mean it and even one less run to the cleaners helps.
- Tylenol. This tip some may not like. And while we don’t advocate medicating yourself for no reason, this tip was a lifesafer. Give the Kallah 2 Tylenols before the wedding. Many gowns are very heavy. The dancing, loud music combined with a tight heavy gown can give the kallah (or moms of the kallah) a really bad headache. Someone who is especially sensory, in particular, can really benefit from being proactive. It can make a difference in how you will enjoy the simcha. (Ever saw someone giving the kallah Tylenol during the wedding? It takes at least 20 minutes to start working and it’s usually too late by the time they take it.)
Did we leave anything out? Share below!
If the kallah is taking medication that must be consumed at a specific time, assign someone to remember and give it to her. You don’t want to miss that dose!
Stick the baggie with meds with pin on shaitle head so it’s remembered to be taken at that specific time needed… (have had that the reminder person also forget)
Designate a close relative to be in charge of who the kallah is supposed to dance with. It’s stressful for the kallah to have to search for Bubby when it’s her turn to dance. The designated relative would make sure that the person next to be danced with was there for her.
Reminder that taking medicine on empty stomach may not be good. Reconsider if Kallah is fasting!
If you are bringing kids/grandkids to the wedding: If you need a sitter for the wedding for kids who are not little babies, try to get someone the kids know already (maybe a neighbor or one of your daughter’s friends) so they won’t refuse to stay with them (been there, done that). Also, some cheap prizes to be distributed to little kids during pictures goes a long way (they don’t stain like candy and a happy photo with a little toy is way better than a photo with little kids crying)
for everyone–shout wipes really really work! Your photographer may have some but do pack at least one package to bring to the wedding
Have a list of photo poses and combinations of people for the photographer so that you’re not running around trying to grab people and remember who else to have waiting. Also, drink Smart Water (water + electrolytes) for a few days before the simcha so that you’re not dehydrated with a headache the day of the simcha. Also, have your Tefillah cards printed and ready in your siddur!! Finally, enjoy! Don’t let any stress ruin your simcha. It’s the yetzer hara and you don’t deserve it 🙂
Leave a house key or combination with a trusted neighbor who will be coming to the hall later than you. They can bring things from your house that you may have forgotten. White chalk for covering up bridal gown stains. Written index cards with kibudim for chuppah written neatly and clearly with options for when people on the list are not there. Written list of who will be getting the Kallah’s jewelry during the chuppah and appoint a good friend to collect the jewelry immediately after the chuppah. Appoint a trusted person (usually a grandparent that doesn’t dance much) to hold gift envelopes that are given during the wedding and provide them with a nice bag to hold them. Even if things get stressful, try to remember that the videos and cameras are on all the time and try not to scowl or speak harshly because it will show up in the pictures or videos. Have fun! The night flies by.
You can also put all accessories for the boys and girls into their garment bag/gown garment bag and then everything is THERE when you need it. Tights shoes hair bows…
If the kallah wants to try and finish sefer tehillim on the wedding day she should start from her engagement (or earlier) saying the Yom of the week or at least Yom Lachodesh each day. The more fluent you are with the words the more possible it will be to complete the whole sefer on this holy once in a lifetime day.
Thank you for your tips, but it is absolutely out of line to dole out medical advice in this forum. The kallah, or anyone in the simcha party considering taking medication should consult their physician first. As a physician, it seems to be the obvious thing to do, but people depend on BCP for so many other parts of their lives, they would likely take this “medical” advice from you without a second thought. Please consider this the next you address health topics.
Thank you,
Pediatrician in NY
It’s Tylenol. And the commenters are talking about BC. Take a chill pill.
Dina, ” take a chill pill?” is everyone giving medical advice these days?! please discuss said “chill pill” with your physician before taking it 😉
My advice would be to leave kids at home with a babysitter or over at family that isn’t attending the wedding. Little kids under age 6/7 don’t remember weddings. They don’t appreciate loud music, lots of people and late nights.
A note on the tylenol: I am an HSP (highly sensitive person, for those not familiar with the initials), and before my wedding, my parents told the band that the kallah would need the music at an appropriate level so that she could enjoy her own wedding — and not go home with a splitting headache that night! I made sure to eat real food and drink a LOT of water the day of, and got a full night of sleep the night before (slept over at a friend so that I wouldn’t be in the middle of any last-minute-before-the-wedding craziness), and, yes, sent a message to the band twice to turn it down… and b”H no meds were necessary.
An even better way to avoid getting hangry: Make sure to hydrate starting a week before the wedding. Always have a water bottle on hand and add a pinch of pink Himalayan salt (unprocessed) each time you refill. This is way better than Tylenol or motrin but they can abviously both be used in addition.
Also. make a list of your wardrobe and which outfit you will wear each night week of Sheva brochos (first night silk blouse tennis necklace satin skirt black pumps etc etc) you will be super exhausted and this will really help. If you have space on your coat rack hang each complete outfit as well.
Mazel tov! May we only share simchas with simcha.